Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Ringing In The New: Predictions for 2010

Posted By on Tue, Jan 5, 2010 at 3:37 AM

2010 is here and with its arrival every pundit in American is making predictions as to what the new year holds. Not be outdone, I offer my fearless predictions based not on fact but on gut feel and hunches. I'd rather rely on those than facts anyway.

And so without further ado, here's some things that will happen in Central Oregon in 2010.
Weather: It'll be warmer and wetter than usual for the remaining winter months. Ski and boardaholics will be in despair come April. A dreary spring will lead to a hotter than normal summer.
News Coverage: More stories of local white-collar crime will come to light as the last vestiges of the "gold rush" era play out. Many financial institutions will be rubbing slime off their faces and airing mea culpas.
Paradise: Bend will yet again be singled out by at least one trendy outdoor magazine like Outside as a "must-live" place. And in case you want to know ahead of time what other towns will be included in said article, it'll be usual suspects: Boulder, Colorado, Austin, Texas, Madison, Wisconsin, Burlington, Vermont, Ashville, North Carolina, Durango, Colorado, Taos, New Mexico and New Paltz, New York.
Sarah Palin: That's right, Sarah will make a Deschutes County appearance much to the delight of locals pols who will all rush to have their picture taken with her and have her endorse their future runs for office.
Tiger Woods: Tiger will not appear in Bend but it will be revealed that he had a local paramour lo those many years ago when he rented a house on Awbrey Butte for a short period of time.
Sports: The first innertube world championships will be held on the Deschutes River on a course running from Farewell Bend Park to just above Alder Creek Kayak and Canoe. Local tourism officials will proclaim that the event will: "bring at least $6 million into the local economy."
Movies: There will be a remake of the 1984 college pranksters at work "B" movie classic "Up The Creek". And just like the original, it will be filmed in and around Bend and use hundreds of local extras along with a handful of never-heard-of Hollywood has-beens in the lead roles.
Summer Events: There will be at least two weekends during the summer when there will be a dozen high- profile (read expensive) music, food and general entertainment events competing for the public's dollars. And with these two weekends, Bend will lay claim once again to being the most "over-evented" town in America.
Politics: The Bend City Council will become the subject of a new reality TV show broadcast not on CSPAN as originally planned but on BRAVO between episodes of "The Real Housewives of Orange County" and "The Real Housewives of Atlanta".
So, here's to 2010, may it be a better than 2009.

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