Monday, January 10, 2011

Our (Ridiculous) Predictions: How the Ducks will fare in the BCS Championship

Who will win tonight's BCS Championship? We take a few guesses.

Posted By on Mon, Jan 10, 2011 at 11:01 PM

Kickoff is now only a few hours away and we thought we'd wade into the treacherous waters of college football predictions with some (mostly ridiculous) game predictions from the Source staff.

Mike Bookey, Arts and Culture Editor: Oregon 82 Auburn 7. The Ducks let Auburn score that one touchdown because they feel sorry for these guys. Nice kids, those Ducks.

Anne Pick, Calendar Editor (Oregon alumna): Ducks win by at least 10 points. Auburn may have Cam Newton, but the Ducks have a whole team. Newton is going to have a tough time when facing the powerhouse that is Casey Matthews.

Ryan DeBardelaben, Designer: OREGON FORFEITS! Hours before the BCS championship game, the rest of the University of Oregon football team will be apprehended after not being able to show sufficient documentation proving they are not Anas diazi (Mexican ducks). Beaver fans everywhere celebrate, commending Arizona’s new immigration law. Officials later apologize when asked about the incident, stating: “This was all a big misunderstanding.”

Eric Flowers, Editor: Auburn players out pray Oregon by a margin of 3 to 1 beginning with a pre-kick off holy huddle and culminating with Auburn praying for mercy when Oregon rips their metaphorical faces off! Go, Godless Ducks!

Susanne Flynn, Office Manager: Ducks 35 Auburn 24 Ducks fans riot in the street post game causing minor damage and little concern (it’s Phoenix after all). Wait, are they playing in Phoenix?

Brandon Sizemore, Sales Executive (Oregon State alumnus): Auburn 42, Oregon 31. Auburn’s defense starts games out slow while the Ducks come out of the gates hot. But the inverse is true when it comes down to crunch time in the 4th quarter when it really matters. Cam Newton will be the force for the Tigers but is not the only leader on Auburns side, look out for their defensive leader Nick Fairley who has knocked four quarterbacks out this season and will definitely be looking to do the same to Darron Thomas. Good luck Chip but I don’t think this one is going to pan out for the fashionable Ducks.

Bob Woodward, columnist: Oregon 28 Auburn 14. Disclaimer: I am not a U of O alumnus, regular at Autzen Stadium nor do I think the world will end if the Ducks lose.

Sara Roth, Staff Writer: My prediction is that the Ducks will win. Admittedly, I know nothing about either team and really don’t care if the Rold Gold pretzel guy skydives down and ruins the whole game. But in my keen observance, I’ve noticed that this whole effing town is obsessed with Oregon football and if the Ducks don’t win, tomorrow will probably suck. Go Ducks!

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