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A Christmas Hangover 

Letter to the editor

Dear Christmas-philes,

I don't like Christmas. I don't like it one bit. In fact, you might even call me a Grinch. Gasp. You see, friends, I take issue with a holiday that starts in October and ends in January. I also take issue with the fact that a Long Island Wal-Mart employee was trampled to death by shoppers rushing the store doors on Black Friday of 2008. Now tell me, where in the ranks of "Christmas spirit" might that horrifying crime sit? Because I'd love to know. Really, I would.

Curious how, 'round about this time of year, consumers and consumers-in-denial (we all know them - you know, those pillars of organic, green righteousness who adamantly refuse to acknowledge that, ultimately, they muck about in the glorious soup of Western materialism along with the rest of us) alike are positively gripped by holiday cheer, which, I've noticed, seems to equate to rabid consumerism.

I think it's funny (though I'm just a Grinch, so what do I know about anything?) that those of you always whining and complaining about how you're broke still find time and money to deck out the house with Christmas lights.

And speaking of Green - Christmas trees. Do tell me, you greenies (bravo, indeed!) among us, that re-usable Christmas tree you drag out every year - how was that made? Did it not, in its production, release some sort or environmentally un-friendly chemicals into the water or the sky? Well what about all those ornaments, all fancy-like and whatnot that you put on your Christmas tree? Was their production completely environmentally sound?

So, I could give a hoot what you buy, what you drive, or what kind of environmentally unfriendly Christmas tree you have, but at least own your hypocrisy. Don't bitch and moan about how everyone needs to be more green and responsible if you're not willing to do the work too. As an upstanding, tax-paying, Christmas-hating Western materialist, I can say that my hypocrisy is, in fact, one of my favorite possessions. You don't have to be a green, organic, impossibly self-righteous Christmas-lover to be a good person.

But I'm just a Grinch. What do I know?

Cheers (but not the Christmas kind),



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