Are You Ready for Some Straight Poop? We've Got It! | The Source Weekly - Bend, Oregon

Are You Ready for Some Straight Poop? We've Got It!

Monday, Oct. 3

Are you ready for some hatred? ESPN scrubs Hank Williams Jr.'s "Are you ready for some football?" song from Monday Night Football after Williams, on Faux Noise, compares President Obama to Hitler. Williams claims he was "misunderstood" ... Courtroom drama: Tearful University of Washington student Amanda Knox goes free after Italian court overturns conviction for killing Meredith Kercher in 2007 ... You don't wanna go there: Emails show White House officials last year warned Obama not to visit Solyndra, the California energy company that went belly-up after collecting half a billion in federal loans ... It's good to be queen: Britain's The Guardian newspaper reports Libyan dictator Muammar Qaddafi once offered to step down and become figurehead leader "like the queen of England." Always thought he'd look nice in a tiara.


Tuesday, Oct. 4

Solidarity forever: Occupy Wall Street protesters pick up support from health care and transport workers' unions and other smaller unions in NYC ... Freeze-out: NJ Gov. Chris Christie says he won't seek GOP presidential nomination after all, cites horror of campaigning in Nebraska in February ... Slip-sliding away: New poll finds Texas Gov. Rick Perry's support down by half over past month; pizza mogul Herman Cain now in second place behind Mitt Romney ... Technical foul: Last-ditch attempt to end National Basketball Association lock-out fails; start of season likely to be delayed ... Unhealthy obsession: Body of Robert James Moore, American who was obsessed with British royal family, discovered at campsite on island near Buckingham Palace. Authorities estimate he's been dead three years.

Wednesday, Oct. 5

Death of a legend: Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple, dies of cancer at age 56 ... Apple loyalists place flowers and apples with bites taken out of them at Apple stores worldwide ... The field narrows: Sarah Palin tells supporters she won't run for president this year ... Tundra hottie? Roger Ailes, looking back on 15 years as chief of Faux Noise, says he hired Palin "because she was hot and got ratings" ... Spreading the wealth: Senate Democrats propose 5.6 percent surtax on incomes above $1 million a year to pay for Obama's jobs plan ... No, there isn't an app for that: Android Market pulls "Is My Son Gay?" app (as well as the French version, "Mon Fils Est-Il Gay?") after protests from gay rights groups; included questions such as "Does he like diva singers?" and "Does he watch football?"

Thursday, Oct. 6

First casualty? Jonathan Silver, head of Department of Energy loan program, resigns amid probe of $535 million in federal loans to Solyndra ... Ungentlemanly conduct: Massachusetts Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren ribs Republican Sen. Scott Brown about his posing nude for Cosmopolitan by saying she "kept my clothes on" when she was earning money for college; Brown wisecracks, "Thank God" ... It's all your fault: GOP presidential hopeful Herman Cain chides Occupy Wall Street protesters; "If you don't have a job and you're not rich, blame yourself!" he says ... A little too groovy? Portland's Tri-Met rejects plan for grooved pavement on new light rail / bicycle bridge that would play Simon and Garfunkel's "Feelin' Groovy" when bikes rode over it ... Fashion statement: St. Croix, maker of the black mock turtlenecks Steve Jobs wore, reports 100% increase in sales of its $175 model since his death. For that price you oughta get a real turtleneck.

Friday, Oct. 7

Scent of hypocrisy: House Majority Leader Eric Cantor says he's worried about "growing mobs" of Occupy Wall Street protesters in NYC and other places, says "some in this town (Washington) have actually condoned the pitting of Americans against Americans," something a Republican would never do ... Woo-hoo! Fox renews epic animated comedy "The Simpsons" for two more seasons after actors agree to pay cut in exchange for profit shares ... Holy war: Texas pastor Robert Jeffress, at Values Voter Summit, introduces Rick Perry as "a genuine follower of Jesus Christ," calls Mitt Romney's religion (Mormonism) a "cult" ... That's our boy: Crowds turn out in pouring rain to see Arnold Schwarzenegger open museum in boyhood home in village of Thal, Austria.

Saturday, Oct. 8

That didn't take long: Sony Pictures inks deal for biopic about Steve Jobs; meanwhile, Simon & Schuster pushes publication date of official biography up a month to Oct. 24 ... Risky business: Emails show Energy Department was warned about lending more money to failed California solar company Solyndra, went ahead anyway ... DREAMs can come true: California Gov. Jerry Brown signs state's DREAM Act, allowing illegal immigrants to get aid to attend state colleges ... Hands off: Grand Mufti Ahmad Badreddine Hassoun, top Sunni Muslim cleric in Syria, warns "we will set up suicide bombers" to attack Europe and US if they intervene in Syria ... Straws in the wind? Ron Paul is surprise winner of straw poll at Values Voter Summit; Herman Cain is #2.

Sunday, Oct. 9

Agent provocateur: Patrick Howley, assistant editor at right-wing American Spectator magazine, says he infiltrated protest at Washington museum, tried to provoke a clash ... Here we go again: At least 24 killed as police and Coptic Christian demonstrators battle in Cairo ... Not tired of silly love songs: Sir Paul McCartney, 69, marries for third time; bride is Nancy Shevell, 51 ... Whiter shades of pale: In move aimed at reducing cases of skin cancer, California bans use of tanning beds by people under 18.

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