Feeling a little run down, choose water from a source that has high levels of anti-biotics in it. Sport teams looking for a leg up, they can have their training camps where trenabolic and other anabolic steroids mingle in the drinking water. The entire art of mixology could change - as you certainly can't add pharmaceuticals to people's drinks - but you can add water.
Local distilleries could advertise where they got their water from, forget about Grey Goose's H2O that's naturally filtered over champagne limestone. Get excited about Estra Vodka distilled with water from the world's highest concentration of Ortho Tri-cyclen. No need for the morning after pill when Estra and tonic is your drink of choice. You can't feel bad about having another French fry with your vodka cranberry when it's made with HDL vodka - distilled from water with the highest parts per million of Lipitor anywhere in the world! It's true: pills and booze don't mix - but pill-infused water, well, that's a whole different story.
6 ounces of Viagravodka
Shaken and served up