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Get A Real Porno: Zack and Miri make a forgettable movie 

click to enlarge The milkman always rings twice.
  • The milkman always rings twice.
The milkman always rings twice.
You can try to distract me, Kevin Smith, but despite the gratuitous nudity, rampant profanity and every euphemism for male and female genitalia in existence, Zack and Miri Make a Porno is full of poorly written dialogue, boring characters and sentimentality that plays cheesy and awkward.

Zack (Seth Rogen, Knocked Up) and Miri (Elizabeth Banks, Definitely, Maybe) are high school best friends come roommates that are struggling to pay the bills. The night of their 10-year high school reunion they come home to find their utilities shut off. Huddled around a trash can fire in their living room, they decide in a flash of entrepreneurialship to make a porno.


They proceed to assemble their production team and cast, which largely involves trolling local strip clubs. Zack and Miri also plan on starring in the porno, and after twenty years of knowing each other, they will finally have sex. They tell one another that it won't mean anything, and they vow that it will not change their friendship. Predictably, there are obstacles along the way, and Zack and Miri realize that there can be no casual sex between them and that there may be other feelings involved.

Seth Rogen has mastered this character: the sex obsessed dirty minded loser who manages to be completely endearing to the audience and datable to the much hotter heroine. Sounds pretty familiar, right?

Elizabeth Banks, on the other hand, was a strange cast for the part of Miri. It was difficult to believe that her character would agree to be in the porno in the first place, and then agreeing to have sex with multiple men. I just don't think that this is the genre for her-she's too classy for this role.

While there are some funny scenes, laugh-out-loud moments are few. What's lacking are the witty and interesting supporting characters. Secondary characters in Zack and Miri are bland and lack distinguishing personalities, they are chosen for Zack and Miri's porno because they have no problem taking their clothes off and that seems to be the same reason they were hired for the movie. And who knew that Jason Mewes (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back) without his characteristic long hair and heterosexual life partner, is such a bad actor? On a positive note, if you have recently attended or are preparing to attend your 10-year high school reunion, the soundtrack will totally rock your face off.

Also missing was witty and interesting dialogue. There is an entire conversation in the beginning of the film on male and female vibrators that has nothing to do with the story line. The deepest thought any character has is when Delaney (Craig Robinson, best known as Darryl from The Office) comes to the sad realization that "there are no free titties, are there?" Sadly, the days of Mallrats and Dogma have past for Kevin Smith, and Zack and Miri Make A Porno should go the way of later Kevin Smith films - I'm talking to you Jersey Girl. After all, if you want to see people having sex without an interesting storyline, can't you just rent a real porno?

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

★✩✩✩✩

Starring Seth Rogen, Elizabeth Banks, Craig Robinson and Jason Mewes

Director: Kevin Smith. Rated R

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