Speaking of Wannabes
Out of respect to you, dear reader, this column will devote no space to name the myriad liars turned media darlings. From balloon boy to homeland security threats who crash critical dinners with the India's Prime Minister, the sorry state of America is being televised ad nauseum. Yet the media is so disgusted with reality show wannabes ("Coming up next: Five writers are locked in glass boxes in Times Square to try to write the Great American Novel - The librarians have to boot one of them this week, or get sexy with all of them... ") that talk shows are busy booking these wannabes to make sure it doesn't happen again and say inane things like, this is, "the most devastating thing that's ever happened to us." (actual quote) BOOHOO!
The Truth? We'd rather watch others' home improvements and weight loss than actually partake in our own, then whine how our government is failing us. Said American patriot Robert Hass: "A healthy democracy must discourage apathy and respect dissent."
Still, This Celebrity Stuff Is Simply Rich!
Before You Forget
Citing the standard "family reasons" (read: "I got fired." or "I was starting to hate myself.") Phillip Carter resigned last Friday after less than seven months of being in charge of closing GITMO; 215 suspected terrorists are still held at the Cuba detention facility and the Obama Admin has a self-imposed deadline to close it by January 22, 2010 - Think that's gonna happen now? Equally awkward news: "Draft Dick Cheney 2012" was launched last Friday, an organization trying to get the GOP to back Darth Vader for a run in 2012; "There is only one person in our party with the experience, political courage and unwavering commitment to the values that made our party strong - and that person is Dick Cheney." said a spokesman for the group.
Also, As Of Press Time
President Obama stood at West Point and told cadets that he is shuttering the Pentagon. That's right, instead of announcing the expected surge (costing around $1 million per soldier per year) of 30,000+ troops (= $30,000,000,000) to Afghanistan, Obama ignored the teleprompter and said, "I'm no LBJ. Heck, I'm hardly Truman. Inheriting wars is so Italian and I'm not taking the bait. I also read this week that Bush-Cheney could have killed Osama in 2001 at Tora Bora, but instead invaded Iraq. So, before taking the podium I ordered nuclear strikes on Pakistan, Afghanistan and Iran. We have also overthrown the Saudi ruling family and will no longer blindly support Israel. There you have it, Checkmate beeeyaaatch!" Confused West Point cadets were then handed brochures on public service and brooms, told to clean up before they leave, and salute a president who finally has the testicles to starve the military industrial complex.
None of the above happened; we'll be in Afghanistan a long time; we won't hold Bush-Cheney responsible for anything, even as Britain holds hearings on the false pretenses for the Iraq war; we'll continue to bolster the Saudi ruling family.