MUSIC—Pass the moonshine! With knee-slapping bluegrass songs about chasing the reverend's wife, cornbread crumbs and possum stew, Three Times Bad aims to ignite an Appalachian hoedown tonight. 8 p.m. The Horned Hand, 507 NW Colorado Ave. $5.
FISHING/FILM—With swooping cinematography of sunset painted rivers, sleek footage of quick-moving salmon and surprisingly exciting narratives, the International Fly Fishing Film Festival is fly fishing porn! This collection of short films is sure to get you excited to pull your rod out for the summer! 7 p.m. Tower Theatre, 835 NW Wall St. $15.
OUTSIDE—There are lots of ways to wind down after a long workweek. Spring skiing is one of the best. Cash in on Mt. Bachelor's extended lift hours (until 7 p.m.!), live music from Blackstrap and Deschutes beer. No pass? No problem. The afternoon/evening lift ticket is cheap. Check mtbachelor.com for the latest on the Pine Parties. 4-7 p.m. Mt. Bachelor. $20.
ART—Sip wine samples from small plastic cups, mingle with friends and wander from gallery to gallery dissecting the works of local artists? Deal! And it's not just paintings, sculptures and drawings—there's performance art, too. And be sure to take in the live belly dancing at Taj Palace (starts at 6:45 p.m.). 5-9 p.m. Downtown Bend. Free.
COMEDY/MUSIC—This Portland chick-duo writes raunchy, hilarious ditties about all the things proper ladies shouldn't discuss, namely their vaginas. Their foul-mouthed comedy is as adorable as unicorns pooping rainbows. Not for the PG-set. 8 p.m. The Horned Hand, 507 NW Colorado Ave. $5.
LOCAL FOOD—People who should go to this conference include local food fanatics, the backyard-chicken curious, community garden lovers, environmental educators and anyone else interested in produce and meat not from Chile. Full day packed with great sessions. Lunch provided. 8:30 a.m. to 4:45 p.m., OSU-Cascades Hall, COCC campus, 2600 Campus Way. $25, or $15 with student ID.
HUMANITY—TEDxBend is an encounter with the real deal—sparks of creativity and genius worth months of inspiration. Consider: A blind jiu-jitsu world champion, a former sniper turned successful Portland businessman after three tours in Iraq, a cyborg anthropology researcher. Hear from presenters then attend the bash. 1 p.m. Summit High School. 2855 NW Clearwater Dr. Live stream tickets (including bash entry) still available, $45.
CYCLING—With brilliant performances from strongman and gentleman Fabian Cancellara as well as the cocky, young and cheeky Peter Sagan, it has been an exciting cycling season so far. Watch the Queen of the Classics via live stream from Paris on the big screen. And do so with a cappuccino in hand. Group ride afterward. 6 a.m. Crow's Feet Commons, 875 NW Brooks St.
MARCH MADNESS—Even though No. 1 seed Louisville bumped Oregon last Friday, it's still worth watching the Final Championship game. Gather up your homies and head to Cascade West for the oversized TVs, underpriced beer and chicken fried to just the right crispness. Cascade West Grub & Alehouse, 64 SW Century Dr.
ICE CREAM—Today is that glorious day when Ben & Jerry's gives away ice cream cones FOR FREE! Yep, from noon 'til 8 p.m. the fine folks at the scoop shop will be dishing up Cherry Garcia, AmeriCone Dream, Chubby Hubby (favorite) and all the rest to those smart enough to have this event on their iCal. Get in line, suckas. 12-8 p.m. Ben & Jerry's, 680 SW Powerhouse Dr. Free.