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Rock Stars vs. Porn Stars: Sex tapes, classroom wizards and city scale acupuncture 

Text Me a Dime Bag

Back in the dark days before Blackberry's and smart phones, college kids had to score their illicit drugs the old fashioned way - with Ma Bell and the doorbell. Not anymore, at least at San Diego State University where authorities recently arrested 75 students in a massive drug dealing investigation. According to the Associated Press, one of the suspects had recently sent out a mass text message to his "faithful customers" informing them that he and his friends would be unable to provide cocaine over the weekend while they were in Las Vegas. The message also advertised an ongoing "sale" and listed the reduced prices for some drugs.

In all, authorities nabbed two kilos of cocaine, 350 Ecstasy pills, as well as marijuana, hash, mushrooms and methamphetamine. Among the places raided was the Theta Chi fraternity house where authorities said fraternity members were openly dealing drugs.

Which got Upfront to thinking that there are a lot of frat traditions that probably should be abandoned: binge drinking, hazing, racial discrimination etc. But maybe that whole trafficking in barrels of Bush Lite wasn't such a bad business model after all, at least when you look at the alternative.


Chi Patrol

An Associated Press story chronicling Portland's extensive eccentricities was making the rounds on the state wires recently. The eye-grabbing headline ran something to the effect of "Man Tries To Perform Acupuncture on City." Well, not really. The man in question is actually, Adam Kuby, a 23-year-old artist who relocated to Oregon from New York a few years back. But the needle is real, a 23-foot sculpture placed near the Willamette River to boost the city's chi. Kuby plans to place several more around the city in an attempt to get people to look at the city in a holistic way.

Keep Portland Weird? Indeed.

click to enlarge Demons worry when the wizard is near
  • Demons worry when the wizard is near
Demons worry when the wizard is nearIs His Real Name Gandalf?

This from the Republic of Florida... A substitute teacher who performed a magic trick for his middle school students was let go by the Pasco County School District, which was reportedly concerned about his use of "wizardry" in the classroom. Teacher Jim Piculas reportedly made a toothpick disappear and reappear before his students only to find his job as a substitute had disappeared. Piculas told a local TV station that he was called in by the district's head of instruction in a tizzy and told not to take any more assignments because of a "huge" issue, which turned out to be "wizardry." The school district has said that there were other issues with the teacher's performance but that his black magic was the greatest concern.

Piculas reportedly is worried that the incident may make it difficult for him to find another teaching position. Maybe so, at least that is, outside of Middle Earth.

click to enlarge Just a tease? Maybe not.
  • Just a tease? Maybe not.
Just a tease? Maybe not. Roll The Tape

Jimi Hendrix and Marilyn Monroe have a lot in common.

One of them played Foxy Lady on the guitar; the other one played nothing but foxy ladies on the silver screen. They both died well ahead of their time and remain cultural icons who define their respective spheres of celebrity (Rock God and Sex Symbol).

They also share another piece of notoriety, they both had alleged sex tapes surface in recent weeks. In the case of Monroe, a New York businessman paid $1.5 million for a tape that purportedly shows Monroe performing oral sex on an unidentified man whose face remains out of the frame. Some people have speculated that the man may be JFK and FBI records indicate that Kennedy's nemesis, J. Edgar Hoover, knew about the tape and tried to link it to the former president. According to the man who allegedly brokered the deal for the tape, the collector has no interest in publicizing the tape. Upfront thinks maybe Oliver Stone can shed some light...

In the case of Hendrix, a story surfaced recently about a tape reportedly showing Hendrix engaged in sex acts at a hotel with two women. While some Hendrix scholars doubt the authenticity of the 11-minute film, fans will have a chance to judge for themselves. California-based porn production giant Vivid Entertainment plans to distribute the film this week, which it has packaged as a 45-minute documentary with commentary. The company reportedly acquired the rights to the film from the man who shot the video. The video, which is subtly titled "Jimi Hendrix the Sex Tape" sells for $39.95 and is available at, you guessed it, www.hendrixsextape.com.

Department of Corrections

Last week we unjustly gave THE BOOT to Deschutes County Commissioner Tammy Melton, incorrectly stating that she voted in favor of extending Pronghorn's deadline for building lodging units. In fact she voted against the extension, which passed by 2-1. Commissioners Dennis Luke and Mike Daly voted for the extension and remain BOOTed.

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