Pin It
Favorite

Welcome to the Grindhouse 

Somehow Nelly's Hot in Herre appeals to a generation that I'm quite positive he did not intend to appeal to. I'm contemplating saying, No shirt,

click to enlarge Image
  • Image
Somehow Nelly's "Hot in Herre" appeals to a generation that I'm quite positive he did not intend to appeal to. I'm contemplating saying, "No shirt, no service," but I'm still caught off guard that a doughy 58-year-old man has decided to dance half-naked at the service bar.

Before I can say anything, his mate joins him with a long lick to his chest and a grind straight from Christina Aguilera's "Dirty" video. Trust me, it's not quite the same when the two people are not 20 and over-the-top beautiful. But, like a train wreck, I can't shift my gaze.

Fortunately, just in time to quell my vomit reflex, the gentleman breaks away, still panting, and orders a vodka tonic. He doesn't stop gyrating his hips while wiping copious amounts of sweat from his forehead. His dance partner goes back to the main dance floor, allowing him an extra minute with me. I tell him that he owes me $6.50. He stops the hip motions justlong enough to pull out his wallet, and then tells me he's always wanted to be a pole dancer.

"Really?"

I ask him what he does now, and he replies that he's a mortgage broker. In the current market, pole dancing might not be such a bad sport to take up, I tell him. I wonder if he's been caught grinding on the bus stop sign while waiting for the number two, or been asked to leave playgrounds after dry humping the pole on the jungle gym. Maybe that's what led him to brokering mortgages.

The Grind

Muddle four mint leaves

One splash of mint bitters

2 oz of vodka

2 oz of lime juice

1.5 oz of simple syrup

Stir it with a long stick and top with soda water.


Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Latest in Restaurant Reviews

  • Best of Both Worlds

    Scoutpost marries tandoor-style breads with thoughtful, local ingredients
    • Nov 2, 2016
  • Special Delivery

    The Soup Cycle serves sustainability
    • Oct 14, 2015
  • Coney Island Delight

    The newest addition to The Lot is refreshingly simple
    • Aug 26, 2015
  • More »

More by Eric Flowers

Readers also liked…

© 2016 LAY IT OUT INC | 704 NW GEORGIA, BEND, OREGON 97703  |   Privacy Policy

Website powered by Foundation