As of this evening, the following events have taken place:
1. Hostess announced that the failure of striking workers to return has forced the baking giant to forego further operations and they are shuttering their doors. This announcement results in the discontinuation of such American staples as Wonder Bread, Ding Dongs, Sno-balls, and yes... the Twinkie.
2. Shortly after this morning's announcement, all hell broke loose at grocery outlets around the country as crazed sweet-toothed shoppers— yours truly included, attempted to amass stores of their favorite sugary treats.
3. A petition went to the White House asking President Obama to "nationalize the Twiinkie industry" and in doing so "prevent our nation from losing her sweet creamy center."
4. Boxes of Twinkies, Zingers, Cupcakes, and Ding Dongs hit ebay and are currently getting actual bids upwards of $30.00.
5. Texas lowered their flag to half-mast
And you thought you had until December for the apocalypse to begin.
