The Source Weekly - Bend, Oregon | Issue Archives | Nov 1, 2007
  • Issue of
  • Nov 1-7, 2007
  • Vol. 11, No. 44


  • Editorial
  • The Good, the Bad, the Ugly and the Nasty

    In another 100,000 years or so, everybody will belong to The Beautiful People. Well, except for those who belong to The Ugly People. As reported in the London Daily Mail (why do the British journalists get all the cool stories?) Dr. Oliver Curry, an "evolution expert" at the London School of Economics, is convinced the human species is destined to evolve into two genetically distinct species - a tall, beautiful, brainy upper class and a "dim-witted, ugly, squat, goblin-like" underclass. But before that happens, Curry theorizes, a golden age of physical perfection will arrive about a thousand years from now. People will be about 7 feet tall, and thanks to better nutrition and advances in medical care they'll live to 120. "Men will have symmetrical facial features with squarer jaws, look athletic and have deeper voices and bigger penises," the Daily Mail writes. "Women's skin will be lighter with large clear eyes, pert breasts, and glossy hair. Interbreeding will produce a uniform race of coffee-colored people." So by 3000 AD all the women will look like Beyoncé Knowles? We could do a lot worse. Alas, the golden age will not last long, Curry predicts. The natural tendency of beautiful, smart, rich people to breed with other beautiful, smart, rich people will cause human evolution to diverge along widely different paths until ultimately we become two species instead of one. "The report suggests that the future of man will be a story of the good, the bad and the ugly," Curry said. All of which leaves Upfront wondering which species a guy like Dick Cheney would fit into.
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