Since the 1960s, Festivus has been held on Dec. 23, in homes where their denizens don't ascribe to more traditional interpretations of the holidays. The secular, invented holiday—made more public thanks to its inclusion in a "Seinfeld" episode—includes quirky elements such as a Festivus pole, feats of strength, observation of Festivus miracles and—our favorite—the airing of grievances.
While Festivus has passed, we're pausing at the end of this year to air our own grievances... about things we see in the community that might need some gentle "tweaking" in the future. As you make merry this season, turn off that RBF, cast the corners of your upper lip in an upward direction and read on.
Dog Crap: You bagged it, now toss it
Hey, you moved to Bend! Good on ya. Now, let's talk about the little black bags you carry around on your dog's leash so when Fido drops a bomb, you can do your duty (pun intended) and pick up his or her crap.
I appreciate that people, for the most part, pick up their dog's waste. However, that's only part of the process. Picking it up and leaving it in the black plastic bag so it can decompose over the next 27 lifetimes in the middle of the trail is about as helpful as getting your trash halfway to the dumpster, getting distracted and leaving it in the middle of the parking lot for someone else to deal with. I'm not stoked to step in your pooch's dung, but at the same time, seeing 40 bags filled with crap dotting the landscape like black pustules when I'm on a hike makes me wonder which is worse.
Having to take a second grader into school with poop-covered shoes isn't my type of party, so for those who pick up after their dog—thank you. But, let's get the job done all the way. If you bothered to bag the sh*t, bother to throw it in the garbage. — Chris Miller
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT, THANKS.
I don't have much to gripe about — Bend is a lovely place to live! However, from the POV of the Source Weekly calendar editor, I do have a pet peeve: STOP USING ALL CAPS TO DESCRIBE YOUR EVENT. IT IS UNNECESSARY AND OBNOXIOUS FOR THE READER. (See what I mean? Not fun to look at. Use your inside voice.) — Keely Damara
The booze-versus-buds double standard
We've got brewpubs and tasting rooms! Cycle pubs and Brewfests! We've got diarrhea-and-cirrhosis-inducing elixirs galore! All of it makes the tourism brochures. Meanwhile, marijuana furrows the brows of our drunken leadership and drunken neighbors, and drunken parents, who stumble to Facebook with "concern" that the devil's lettuce will prelude the fall of their children if a dispensary goes up within five football fields of an unlicensed daycare. Hey Karen and Bill, ever consider that Brayden and McKenzie are corrupted by your nightly chardonnay flights and not the vague smell of cannabis under LED lights? Calm thy bosom. Try a gummy. — Jeremy Dickman
Consistency, Please
It's easy to find a good meal in Bend, but it's difficult to find it twice. What a disappointment to crave that dish again only to be let down by inconsistent preparation. It's either overdressed, under-seasoned or just plain meh. Is it a lack of good help? Is the chef too tired from spending the morning on the mountain? It doesn't matter, because we have so many visitors? You would think a chain restaurant would be immune to this problem. Nope, I've experienced it at Chipotle, too. The solution? Eat at home or never order the same dish twice. — Lisa Sipe
Canna-preneurs seeing only dollah dollah billz
Next level disrupter Canna-preneurs with more money than class, a Sahara Desert level of thirst for press and attention, talkin' loud and sayin' nothing, the ones with deeper and longer relationships with alcohol and blow than cannabis, whose favorite effect of cannabis is its balance sheet potential. Often pastel-polo clad, topped with an achingly punch-able face which gives laughable lip service to support of medical marijuana, expanding opportunities for women and people of color in the industry, and craft cannabis. Try doing some good while you do well in the industry and seek out strains supportive of self-reflection and empathy. Please. — Josh Jardine
Readers who don't read before commenting
Readers, we heart you. We heart that you come to bendsource.com or our social media channels and check out our workz. But is it too much to ask to read all the way to the end of stories—sometimes a Lilliputian 250 words in length—before you post a question that could be answered by the text? We know you're busy. We are too—busy spending hours or sometimes days researching, interviewing sources and fact-checking the stuff we publish. And hey, our paper's free, too—with no annoying online paywall! Your end of the bargain: reading the whole story before you post that comment. — Nicole Vulcan
