Buff Orfington

Karenopa: As you no doubt can discern from my postings, I agree with you wholeheartedly. I once beat the living shit out of a man who was beating a dog at a park in Medford. I kept repeating as I pounded away, "this is what that feels like, asshole!" But then, I'm 6'3" and weigh 240 and workout and have an extensive background and training in kickboxing and Karate. I wouldn't ask those that could get in over their head to dive in, but all should do what they can to put a stop such mindless cruelty, including gathering all the information available about the perp...

Buff Ball Envy: It doesn't have anything to do with the internal combustion engine. It has to do with risk. Risk doesn't care how you arrive at it's doorstep. If your minuscule brain wasn't as numb as your minuscule cajones you'd know that. Relative risk level is... relative risk level. I've kept it simple, so with study and lots of assistance, there is at least a minor, though remote, possibility you'll get a grip on the subject matter.

Isn't ODFW that assemblage of idiots who spent millions when they decided to make sluice boxes out of all the creeks, streams and brooks so that "the fish could migrate more easily," and then had to spend millions putting all the detritus back into the creeks because that was the worlds stupidest idea? The common sense God gave a gopher would have indicated that the way creeks were before man came along, when you could walk across a creek on the backs of fish without getting your feet wet, was probably a good way to leave them. I'm sure you'll say, "Oh, that was then. We know better now." And I would respond, "Yes. But that's exactly what you said then. And you didn't know better. Perhaps in ten or twenty years you'll figure out you don't know better now, either." If you've got time to waste, dealing with a single cat named Ellie Mae, you obviously don't have enough going on at ODFW to keep you busy.

Lighten up. Rodents, mantles, chipmunks, bobcats, cougar, coyote, bear and deer, to name a few; most have higher populations now than before man came along, all out of balance with the natural order, due to the meddling of 'educated' know-nothings like yourself who have interfered with the natural process to the detriment of the habitat. I don't think a cat makes a whole hell of a lot of difference. If you insist on balancing it out, shoot a bobcat or coyote, call it even. Don't you have bigger fish to screw up?

My above posting is satire. I am not suggesting anyone break any applicable laws. However, the public should take every legal measure, do everything in it's power, to put a stop to animal cruelty. If you can do nothing else, make sure you get a license number and a good description of the perp and vehicle. Report it every time you witness it.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU WITNESS A LOW LIFE ASSHOLE BEATING AN ANIMAL: Do not break the law. If it is legal, when you see this kind of event, run over, grab the animal beating low life asshole by the hair, yank his face down as hard as you can as you raise your knee up, connecting with his slime-bucket nose with all the power you can muster. Repeat as necessary. Place him under citizens arrest before you reach exhaustion or your knee wears out. If he refuses to be arrested or stay arrested, physically attacks you, gut shoot him, if it is legal. Twice. Then once more, center of body mass, for good measure and to tidy up any loose ends. Then, sit down for a well deserved rest, pop a cold one, admire your handiwork. If you have a cell phone, call 911. If not, don't worry about it. Somebody will eventually show up and call it in. Do not leave the scene. Explain to the clean up squad the asshole was beating an animal and when you intervened on the animals behalf, the sadist attempted to kill you as well. Tell the truth as you see it. You had no choice but to act in self defense. Accept the congratulations you deserve with appropriate shyness and a measure of panache. Offer to adopt the animal, if you have the abilty and means to provide a good home for it. Sleep well. You have made the Earth a better place.

More power to ya. Keep up the good work. There are always those that have no stomach for reality. Let them eat snivel. It's what they have the most of...