Eat it, Hippies | Letters to the Editor | Bend | The Source Weekly - Bend, Oregon
The Source Weekly’s reporting is made possible by the power of your support. Be a part of it!
Search
Settings
Pin It
Favorite

Eat it, Hippies 

Rejoice, citizens of Bend, the great goose harvest is back.

Rejoice, citizens of Bend, the great goose harvest is back. Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has provided us with an annual bounty of delicious, sustainable, organic meat. With proper management, we can all rest easy knowing that local food banks can receive an influx of nourishment every year, right when they need it most, the dead of winter. Given how recently we collected our last crop of geese, it’s encouraging to see how quickly the numbers have bounced back. Canada (socialist) geese are a thoroughly unendangered species, with no rights, trans fat or aversion to repopulating the killing fields (Drake Park).
Though many unwashed local hippies protested the last “massacre,” we’ve been blessed with yet another overabundance of these cuddly poop factories. I’ve even had the privilege of hearing some of the non-lethal, non hunger-abating solutions to the “problem.” I get the impression that these non-lethal solutions are superior to the lethal option only because they don’t involve killing things. Unfortunately for our freegan neighbors, many of us are able to associate the meat we eat with the act of killing, while suffering no loss of appetite. So while you may feel free to protest, demonstrate and wail over the plight of these dirty, dangerous animals, fear not: The problem will be solved both for, and in spite, of you.

About The Author

Pin It
Favorite

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

Today | Thu | Fri | Sat | Sun | Mon | Tue
Submitting an event is free and easy.

Newsletter Signup

Get Central Oregon daily news
directly in your inbox

Get Social


Latest in Letters to the Editor

  • Letters to the Editor 1/14/21

    • Jan 13, 2021
    Teletherapy: Will it survive the pandemic?, Riot at the Capitol, U.S Representative Cliff Bentz & Pro Trump Mob More »
  • Letters to the Editor 1/7/21

    • Jan 6, 2021
    Rolling Back Environmental Protections, Where has Mt. Bachelor’s customer service gone, Source Material: Best of the Year, The Nature of Currency and The Christmas Tree That Almost Killed Us More »
  • Letters to the Editor 12/31/20

    • Dec 30, 2020
    The Christmas Tree That Almost Killed Us, Bend Police Testing Body Cams, and Tilting-at-Windmills is Not What Deschutes County—or Congressional District 2—Needs. More »
  • More »

More by Source Weekly

Want to advertise with us?

For info on print and digital advertising, >> Click Here

© 2021 LAY IT OUT INC | 704 NW GEORGIA AVE, BEND, OREGON 97703  |   Privacy Policy

Website powered by Foundation