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If Your Poop Doesn't Have This Label It's Not the Straight Poop 

A gathering a news makers from the previous week.

Monday, Nov. 14

Dazzling insight: Ex-Penn State football coach and accused child rapist Jerry Sandusky says he's innocent but admits "horsing around" in showers with little boys. In retrospect, he says, "I shouldn't have showered with those kids" ... Meanwhile Jack Raykovitz, president and CEO of "Second Mile," charity Sandusky founded to help troubled kids, resigns ... Flavor of the Week: Newt Gingrich joins Mitt Romney at top of GOP candidate field as scandal-plagued Herman Cain drops 11 points since last month ... Lost in space: Cain seems befuddled when interviewer asks him about Libya situation, explains, "I've got all this stuff twirling around in my head" ... See you in court: US Supreme Court announces it will rule on constitutionality of President Obama's health care plan ... Won't see you on court: NBA players reject proposed new labor deal, vote to disband union; Commissioner David Stern says "nuclear winter" is coming for basketball.

Tuesday, Nov. 15

Happy Valley Follies: Mike McQueary, assistant coach at Penn State, claims in email he stopped Jerry Sandusky from raping boy in shower and told police about it ... Meanwhile, fired coach Joe Paterno reportedly in line for $500,000-a-year pension ... They always get their man, uh, boy: Scotland Yard reveals it foiled cyberattack on official website for royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton last April; alleged hacker is 16-year-old kid ... Call him "Chainsaw Rick": GOP presidential hopeful Rick Perry says if elected he'll end lifetime appointments for federal judges (which would take a constitutional amendment), cut salaries of president and members of Congress in half.

Wednesday, Nov. 16

Credibility problem: Contrary to what he claimed, Penn State campus police and local police say Mike McQueary never told them about seeing Jerry Sandusky molesting a child ... Running out of steam? New national survey by Public Opinion Polling finds support for Occupy Wall Street fading fast; only 33 percent in favor, 45 percent opposed ... The many faces of Newt: Bloomberg News reports Newt Gingrich made at least $1.6 million as consultant to Freddie Mac, government-sponsored mortgage company he's blamed for real estate bubble ... Lines in the sand: Arab League gives Syria three-day deadline to "stop the bloody repression" of protesters ... Awww: People magazine decrees Bradley Cooper is "sexiest man alive" because he can cook, speaks French and loves his mom ... Ouch: Mariah Yeater drops claim that Justin Bieber fathered her baby; lawyer for Biebs says he'll sue.

Thursday, Nov. 17

Turning it up a notch: Nationwide demonstrations mark two-month anniversary of Occupy Wall Street; 240 arrested, 17 injured as cops clash with protesters in NYC ... Bringing the crazy: Oscar Ramiro Ortega-Hernandez, 21, who claims to be Jesus and calls Obama the anti-Christ, arrested for firing shots at White House last week, some of which hit building ... If your sushi is glowing, don't eat it: Japan bans rice grown near Fukushima nuke plant because of dangerous levels of radioactivity ... All you need is love: Benetton, known for shocking ads, withdraws new one showing Pope Benedict kissing a Muslim Imam on the mouth after Vatican complains; others, including one of Obama kissing Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, to remain ... Love is all you need: "Palace insider" reports Kate Middleton, bride of Prince William, is pregnant; Justin Bieber not involved.

Friday, Nov. 18

Déj vu all over again: Tens of thousands of Egyptians rally in Cairo's Tahrir Square to demand that interim military regime give up power ... Is this contagious? Syracuse University puts assistant basketball coach Bernie Fine on leave at after police confirm they're investigating him for child molestation ... Meanwhile at Penn State, ousted coach Joe Paterno's son says he has "treatable form" of lung cancer ... This is why they call them "pigs": Video of campus police officer dousing unarmed, unresisting student protesters at UC Davis with pepper spray goes viral on Web ... We TOTALLY don't wanna go there: Washington Post reports Newt Gingrich's think tank got $37 million from health care industry, promised clients "direct Newt interaction" ... Really sick crib, Jesus: Diocese of Orange County, CA to buy evangelist Robert Schuller's bankrupt "Crystal Cathedral" for $57 million, turn it into Catholic church.

Saturday, Nov. 19

Constitutional confusion: Herman Cain says that as president he'll "overturn" US Supreme Court if it rules Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional ... Economic shocker: New census data shows one-third of Americans are now poor or "near-poor," meaning less than 50 percent above poverty level ... Keep trying until they get the message: Thousands of Egyptians clash with police in Tahrir Square as regime tries to remove them; 10 reported dead ... Last of the Qaddafis: Seif al-Islam, only wanted relative of deceased Libyan dictator Muammar Qaddafi, captured in desert.

Sunday, Nov. 20

No deal: Congressional "supercommittee" charged with working out debt reduction plan likely to fail as Republicans stand firm against any tax increase ... UC Davis puts chief of campus police and two officers on leave for pepper spray incident ... Vampires I, Dancing Penguins 0: Despite brutal reviews ("I lived a thousand lifetimes watching it, and died a thousand deaths," wrote one critic) The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part I grosses $139.5 million for fifth-best opening weekend ever; Happy Feet II is distant second at $22 million.

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