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Pilsner Pundits 

No one is as discerning as the yellow beer drinker. I work with a guy who can jam his nose deep in a Bordeaux glass

No one is as discerning as the yellow beer drinker. I work with a guy who can jam his nose deep in a Bordeaux glass and tell you-because of the slight aroma of charcoal- that it is a 2006 pinot blend from Walla Walla. Another guy will tell you that he is a certified beer snob who spends all of his free time reading about lagers, stouts, and ales, brewing different hop and barley concoctions and traveling to breweries on any long weekend. But neither of these guys' palates can rival the yellow beer drinker.

It is he who knows that Budweiser is absolutely delicious and Coors is unpalatable. It is he who knows that Miller Light is scrumptious and agreeing to the soul while Fosters is so unagreeable that the mere mention of such drink is enough to cause a gag reflex.

You might think that marketing has created image and brand loyalty, but I have asked the lager sophisticate and they will tell you that their choice is based entirely on flavor. Considering that they all taste so similar, it is truly awesome that so many have developed such acute senses of smell and taste. The pity is that the yellow beer drinker, unlike other food and drink snobs, is unwilling to expand their repertoire. The third level sommelier will taste Three Buck Chuck but the Michelob Ultra drinker will ascertain that tasting Amstel Light will tarnish them for life. The Iron Chef will taste the oily rancid gray meat of the lamprey by slowly churning it in his mouth but the yellow beer drinker knows that if her delicate palate only knows the satisfying deliciousness of Rolling Rock that a mere splash of PBR will singe her tongue.

The Sophisticate

Blind taste ten lagers and pilsners - that's it. I dare you to.

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