Post-Adolescent Vampire Obsession Syndrome: Or, how my Twilight obsession ended before The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part I hit theaters | Film | Bend | The Source Weekly - Bend, Oregon
The Source Weekly’s reporting is made possible by the power of your support. Be a part of it!
Pin It

Post-Adolescent Vampire Obsession Syndrome: Or, how my Twilight obsession ended before The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part I hit theaters 

Time to turn your back on Twilight saga.

I would personally like to apologize for the reviews I wrote for both The Twilight Saga: New Moon and The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. I don't know what exactly came over me that I would rave on and on about how good both of these films were, but obviously I was under the influence of something. Let's call it Post-Adolescent Vampire Obsession Syndrome (or PAVOS, which coincidentally is Spanish for "turkeys," and it's what all of us who latched onto this ridiculous series were for having so mindlessly obsessed over it for the past few years).

All I know is that during the height of my Twihard-ed obsession, my 15-year-old self would have seriously kicked my current self's ass. How does one go from making fun of Edward's sparkling skin to giving the last two movies each four out of five stars? I feel as though perhaps my mind melted and my time spent studying and adoring the art of cinema was tossed aside for a teenage vampire love story that throws both feminism and self respect out the window.

What happened between the release of Eclipse and The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn-Part I to lead this once self-proclaimed Twihard to flip her switch on the entire series? The way I see it, myself, and other educated women (or people, rather) who at the time bought into the hype of teenage vampire pandemonium, have always been on the fringe - in that we know better than to like these films, but soaked in the escape from reality anyway. The biggest mistake the studio responsible for the Twilight films made was waiting a year and a half between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. For those of us on the fringe, we were given time to come out of our Twilight-obsessed haze. When it comes down to it though, the studios don't care about those of us on the outskirts - they made these movies from young adult novels, and they are directed toward the teenage fan-girl demographic.

That's why I did my fair share of laughing during Breaking Dawn Part I. What I liked best about Breaking Dawn the book comes when Bella (Kristen Stewart) finally becomes a vampire, but we don't really get to that in this installation. The whole premise of Breaking Dawn is just flat out ridiculous. Bella and Edward (Robert Pattinson) get married and she subsequently gets knocked up - by a vampire. You know, someone who is supposed to be DEAD! And to top it all off, she gives her offspring the stupidest name on the planet. Seriously, Stephanie Meyer? Reneesme? That's the best you could come up with?

Talking with a friend the other day, she asked me, "Don't you remember Bella being more witty in the books?" One of the greatest problems about Bella in the films comes in her constant melancholy brooding. She lacks the personality she has in the books, which is disappointing. In Breaking Dawn the film, at her own wedding Bella looks more dead inside than any of the vampires in attendance. My favorite Bella moment of the whole film, however, comes when she takes her "human minute" to prepare to get down and dirty with Edward for the first time. She's more animated here than at any other time in the entire series.

Is it a coincidence that three of the four Twilight movies thus far have been released just before Thanksgiving (aka Turkey Day)? Those of us who, for the last three years, have suffered from PAVOS, have gobbled our little hearts out about the Edward-Bella-Jacob love triangle. But just as with all turkeys, our gobbling must come to an end and once the tryptophan-induced drowsiness wears off, we all wake up and see how terrible these movies really are.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part I

2 Stars

Starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner

Directed by Bill Condon

Rated PG-13

About The Author

Anne Pick

Music Writer | The Source Weekly
Pin It


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

Today | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat
Beats On The Bricks: Mark Ransom & Pat Pearsall

Beats On The Bricks: Mark Ransom & Pat Pearsall - 10 Barrel Brewing Co.

Sun., July 25, 4-6 p.m.
Submitting an event is free and easy.

Newsletter Signup

Get Central Oregon daily news
directly in your inbox

Now Playing

By Film...

By Theater...

Get Social

Latest in Film

  • The Florida Projects

    • Jul 21, 2021
    Zola deconstructs social media and the modern moment More »
  • Spy Game

    • Jul 14, 2021
    Marvel's "Black Widow" is too little, too late More »
  • May the Source Be With You

    • Jul 7, 2021
    Your July Edition of what to watch and listen to includes a thought-provoking indigenous podcast, along with "Loki" and "Shadow and Bone" More »
  • More »

More by Anne Pick

  • Move Over, Mariah

    Move Over, Mariah

    Gypsy-punk rockers Diego's Umbrella shows off a softer side on "The Christmas Revels"
    • Nov 28, 2018
  • Hip-Hop Subscription

    Hip-Hop Subscription

    Zion I delves into Patreon
    • Nov 28, 2018
  • There's Still Hope

    There's Still Hope

    Ashleigh Flynn & The Riveters draw inspiration from an American icon
    • Nov 21, 2018
  • More »

Want to advertise with us?

For info on print and digital advertising, >> Click Here

© 2021 LAY IT OUT INC | 704 NW GEORGIA AVE, BEND, OREGON 97703  |   Privacy Policy

Website powered by Foundation