Quit Nerding Up Football | Outside Features | Bend | The Source Weekly - Bend, Oregon
Search
Settings
Pin It
Favorite

Quit Nerding Up Football 

I've been asked by the Left Field department to share my views on fantasy football and I'm glad to do it because fantasy football is eating up sports fans and turning them into soulless statistic chomping geeks.

Last Sunday, I was jumping up and down in my sweatpants, spilling PBR Light (I'm watching my figure) all over the place as Atlanta Falcons quarterback Matt Ryan sent a 26-yard bomb spiraling into the hands of receiver Michael Jenkins, who stepped out of bounds with one second left. The Falcons then kicked a field goal to miraculously beat the Bears.

Now, I don't give two and a half craps about the Falcons or the Bears, but I get an endorphin surge and feel generally better about America upon watching such a dramatic ending to a football game. And when I don't have anyone to share my football high with, I typically pick up the phone, which is why I called an anonymous friend who had just watched the same game. But the strangest thing happened -he seemed wholly unaffected by the impossibly awesome ending to the game. Actually, I don't think he even realized who won, and I don't think he cared. Rather, this son of a bitch was lamenting the fact that certain players who just so happened to be playing in this game "ruined" his fantasy football team for that week.

This is the problem with fantasy football: it takes the "game" out of football and replaces fans with ESPN.com-addicted nerds who could care less if the Chargers win, but want to see Ladainian Tomlinson run the ball every friggin' play so they can take the lead in their league - a spot currently held by someone's wife who begrudgingly "drafted" a team blindly in order to fill a vacated spot. Take your imaginary teams out of football and put them up against the warlocks and goblins of your Dungeon and Dragons and quit taking the fun out of football, you fantasy loving nerds.


Pin It
Favorite

Comments (3)

Showing 1-3 of 3

Add a comment

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-3 of 3

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

Today | Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri
Peninsula Hike: Past, Present and Future

Peninsula Hike: Past, Present and Future - Peninsula Road North of Crooked River Ranch

Thu., Oct. 29, 8 a.m.
Submitting an event is free and easy.

Newsletter Signup

Get Central Oregon daily news
directly in your inbox

Get Social


Latest in Outside Features

  • Glacier Funeral

    • Oct 21, 2020
    After commemorating the loss of Clark Glacier, the Oregon Glaciers Institute looks ahead at what's to come More »
  • "With Spirit" Debuts at BendFilm

    • Oct 7, 2020
    Following locals Chelsey and Jason Magness, the film tells a story of love, loss and life through the lens of adventure racing More »
  • Seeing the Forest for the Trees

    • Sep 30, 2020
    Worthy Brewing to host the Forest Revival Concert to see more trees planted and forests restored More »
  • More »

Give Guide


View Online

More by The Source Staff

Want to advertise with us?

For info on print and digital advertising, >> Click Here

© 2020 LAY IT OUT INC | 704 NW GEORGIA AVE, BEND, OREGON 97703  |   Privacy Policy

Website powered by Foundation