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seattle

thursday 20-friday 21

Louis C.K. Live

Emmy Award winning comedian and long-time writer for late-night comedy shows including David Lettermen and Conan O'Brien, Louis C.K. will take the stage for two nights in Seattle. C.K.'s other credits include writer, producer, director and star of his own comedy series Louie, and writer and director of the cult classic Pootie Tang. 6 p.m. and 9 p.m. Thursday, 7 p.m. and 10 p.m. Friday, The Paramount Theatre.

portland

friday 21

Seven Courses to Oblivion

Join the team at Scratch for your last meal EVER. With the end of the world fast approaching, why not enjoy an extravagant seven-course smorgasbord, no calorie counting necessary. Portland Chef Patrick Lee Warner has created a locally sourced menu for the aptly named "End of the World Dinner," which will feature shrimp, lobster and crab bisque, black pepper bison, ricotta doughnuts, beef tenderloin, braised short rib, and a dessert of Twinkie and insect-shaped truffles. 7:30 p.m., Scratch

saturday 22

Con Bro Chill

The brainchild of professional lacrosse player Connor Martin, Con Bro Chill is the hipster's version of LMFAO with wardrobe furnished by Tron. Con Bro Chill is a party machine that also happens to produce some electronic pop music. These guys love neon colors, non-stop dancing, mini-trampolines, onesies, fanny packs, keytars, 3D everything and black lights. Party time. 8 p.m. Wonder Ballroom.

saturday 22-sunday 23

Presents for Primates

Is there anything more lovable and festive than chimpanzees opening Christmas presents? They have opposable thumbs specifically for this purpose! Zoo-keepers will present their chimp and orangutan friends with gift boxes, wrapped and filled with food, quilts and toys. The next step is these Portland chimps in ugly sweaters celebrating with PBRs. ADORABLE. 10:30 a.m. Portland Zoo.

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