Support local, independent journalism in Central Oregon! Become a Source Weekly Member today.

The Tramp Stamp: A shot for the lowest common denominator

Line em up, knock em downAs Obama sweeps the country with hope and transformation, might there also be change in what is perhaps the most

[
        {
          "name": "Air - Ad - Rectangle - 2 pack - Inline Content - 1",
          "insertPoint": "1/2",
          "component": "16844684",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "6"
        }
        
        ,{
          "name": "Air - Ad - Rectangle - 2 pack - Inline Content - 2",
          "insertPoint": "1/4",
          "component": "16844686",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "20"
        },{
          "name": "Air - Ad - Rectangle - 2 pack - Inline Content - 3",
          "insertPoint": "3/4",
          "component": "16844687",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "17"
        }
      ]

Line em up, knock em downAs Obama sweeps the country with hope and transformation, might there also be change in what is perhaps the most obnoxious way that girls garner attention at the bar-the girl-on-girl make out session? Yes, we have all seen it. Some drunk girl notices that no men have lavished any attention on her so she grabs her best friend by the face and forces her tongue down the back of her throat. Her friend (no stranger to the game) sloppily kisses back never failing to run her hands through her friends hair and to let out some sort of "I-once-watched-a-porno" moan.

Don't get me wrong, they want attention and it never fails. However, the girl-on-girl kiss is stale and old. With a metamorphosis in regime and hope to make the world a better place, might we move forward from this frat party charade to something more interesting or meaningful?

How about a spin on the girl-on-girl kiss where ladies with tongue piercings wear highly magnetized tongue rings? It will be a real battle of tongue strength to see who can get their tongue untied while smooching. Some girls will have tongue rings with opposing magnets, so no matter how much they want to make out their tongues will be forced away from one another in a wicked display of willpower.

Or the girl can just get naked. Why involve anyone else when you can get all the attention yourself? Typically singing, dancing, or doing yoga while nude will get even more attention.

Last but not least, the girl could conjure up a conversation with the guy she has a crush on. It is perhaps the most difficult of the methods, but assures the best results. Furthermore, you'll know that you are not a trampy whore when you happen to get a teeny bit drunk and want a little male attention.

The Tramp

1 oz cheap vodka

1 oz Red Bull

Add a dash of food coloring to color your shot to give it more personality.