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The World's Freshest Poop From Our Far-Flung News Bureaus 

The World's Freshest Poop From Our Far-Flung News Bureaus

Monday, June 13

Down the rat hole: Defense Department says it can't account for $6.6 billion in cash that vanished in Iraq, presumably stolen ... Don't piss off the Big Guy: Vandals deface Bend's Westside Church with graffiti saying "Praise the FSM" (Flying Spaghetti Monster); "God is the one that's going to get revenge," says church official ... Snow White and the Six Dwarfs: Michelle Bachman and six Republican men get together for presidential candidates' debate and friendly Obama-bashing session ... Not recommended for the acrophobic: Airbus announces it's developing a transparent plane ... The thrill is gone? Facebook loses 6 million US users in past year; Mark Zuckerberg apparently unfazed ... The thrill definitely is gone: Ex-Playmate Crystal Harris, 24, dumps fiancé Hugh Hefner, 85, less than a week before scheduled nuptials. "It was all happening too fast," she says. Which isn't usually the problem with 85-year-old men.

Tuesday, June 14

Weinergate, cont.: Rep. Anthony D. Weiner (D-NY) reportedly close to resignation for Tweeting nasty pics of himself ... And now for a real scandal: Charity set up by GOP presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich apparently paid $220,000 to buy books and DVDs from his private company ... Take back this turkey: "Spiderman: Take Back the Night," most expensive Broadway musical in history, finally officially opens, gets panned by critics. "A bore," says NY Times ... Next, a "Twin Peaks" disco? Director David Lynch plans club in Paris inspired by his movie "Mulholland Drive" ... Make that seven dwarfs: Former Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman says he's poised to enter GOP presidential field.

Wednesday, June 15

Not needing God to do good: Atheists in Bend and nationwide raise more than $3,000 to repair vandalism to Westside Church ... And now for something offensive: of Connecticut peddles Anthony Weiner action figures (both anatomically correct and "Ken doll" versions) ... And now for something really offensive: Ad attacking California Democratic congressional candidate Janice Hahn shows her as pole dancer with armed gangsta rappers singing "Gimme your cash, bitch, so we can shoot up the street" and stuffing bills into her shorts ... Buh-bye, Tea Party vote? Al Gore praises Republican presidential aspirant Mitt Romney for being right about climate change.

Thursday, June 16

Weinergate, The Conclusion: Anthony Weiner resigns from Congress, citing "distraction" created by scandal over his wandering wiener ... Ready to deal: Son of Muammar Qaddafi says Libyan dictator willing to hold elections and resign if he loses ... When hackers attack: Citigroup says more than 360,000 credit card accounts compromised by hackers, three times as many as it first admitted ... Meanwhile Lulz Security hackers, who previously hit PBS, Sony and the US Senate, take down CIA website ... Sore losers: Vancouver fans riot after Boston Bruins defeat Canucks to take Stanley Cup ... Drop in the bucket: Portland Water Bureau decides to drain 7.8-million-gallon reservoir after 21-year-old man is caught on security camera peeing into it.

Friday, June 17

Backing down? AARP says it's willing to consider Social Security and Medicare cuts, but only if they're in the "far distant future" ... Two faces of protest: Violence rages on in Syria as 19 more killed in demonstrations ... Meanwhile, Saudi Arabian women (and some men dressed as women) get behind the wheel to protest government ban on females driving ... Settling the score: Colton Harris-Moore, 20, Seattle's "barefoot bandit," who led police on merry chase as he stole cars, boats, planes and other stuff, pleads guilty to federal charges, promises any money he makes from his story will go to reimburse victims ... One down, one to go: Admiral Mike Mullen, chairman of Joint Chiefs of Staff, says US will "capture and kill" Osama bin Laden's successor, Ayman al-Zawahiri. There's a $25 million price on his head.

Saturday, June 18

No, they're not backing down: AARP send email to members saying it isn't supporting cuts to Social Security and Medicare ... News of the religiously weird: Rabbinical court in Jerusalem sentences stray dog to death by stoning after becoming convinced it's possessed by soul of dead lawyer who previously insulted the court. Dog reportedly escapes before sentence can be carried out ... Cops are not amused: Three 18-year-olds charged with criminal mischief for allegedly spraying Pastafarian graffiti on walls of Westside Church and other places in Bend. One says they did it "to either make a point, or bring some joy and fun to Bend" ... Dump the Prozac, pass the shrooms: Researchers at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine report that psilocybin, active ingredient in "magic mushrooms," produces positive mental and emotional changes in users more than a year later.

Sunday, June 19

Gosh, we're sorry: NATO admits its air strikes in Libya might have killed civilians, says it "regrets the loss of innocent civilian lives" ... Smart to stay married? New York Times reports divorce rate in US continuing to decline, with college-educated couples only one-third as likely to divorce within first 10 years as non-college-educated ... Nice to know somebody still has money: Dress worn by Marilyn Monroe in "The Seven-Year Itch" (in famous scene where she stands over subway grate and skirt blows up) auctioned for $5.6 million in Beverly Hills ... Yes, this spring really did suck: National Climatic Data Center reports that spring 2011 in Oregon was second-wettest and fifth-coldest in the 117 years it's been keeping records. Only 1993 was rainier.

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