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These Damned Olympics 

Did you hear? A pack of polar bears escaped from the Greater Vancouver Zoo and have put the city, which is packed with tourists and foreign heads of state for the Olympic Games, on a code red bear watch? No, this didn't actually happen (not yet, at least) but this is the sort of news we expect to hear coming down from Vancouver, given how things have gone thus far. With rain and spring-like temperatures looming over the nearby mountains, snow has deteriorated at several of the event sites, leaving freestyle mogul races pushing through slush before hitting an artificially refrigerated jump, flipping about like a drunken Harry Potter, then landing on even slushier slush. But slush aside, the Vancouver games have had some other slip ups, including a malfunctioning torch tower at the opening ceremony, which thankfully didn't affect a performance by Canada's slam poet laureate, but did leave Steve Nash, Wayne Gretzky and two women you've never heard of standing there like morons. Oh yeah, and a luger died before the damned games even began. Who knew that global warming was such a buzz kill? Man, WTF?


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