Three of the Worst Christmas Albums Ever | Sound Stories & Interviews | Bend | The Source Weekly - Bend, Oregon
The Source Weekly’s reporting is made possible by the power of your support. Be a part of it!
Pin It

Three of the Worst Christmas Albums Ever 

Bob Dylan Christmas in The Heart

First off, Bob Dylan is great, OK? He's one of the best songwriters of all time. It's just that when he chose to do a Christmas album, someone, anyone, should have said NO. The last thing people want when trying to get into the Christmas spirit is their Grandpa—who smokes 10 packs a day—singing a bunch of Christmas standards in the living room. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if Dylan's voice weren't paired with the soft angelic voices of his back-up singers. All that did was create a stark contrast between what works and what doesn't when it comes to Christmas music.

David Hasselhoff The Night Before Christmas

Christmas is a time of celebrating your blessings and thinking of those in need. It is not for getting the crap scared out of you by a freakishly serial-killer-like rendition of "Twas the Night Before Christmas." Yet that is just what The Hoff delivers on the opening track of his epically bad holiday album. If Hasselhoff's singing career were as big in The States as it is in parts of Europe, I would personally lobby President Obama and Congress to outlaw the holiday simply to prevent this garbage from being played ever again.

Keith Sweat A Christmas of Love

Keith Sweat isn't kidding when he claims his Christmas will be one of love. This guy is a creeper. First off, Santa Claus is supposed to bring presents, not be the present. Yet Sweat feels the need to pervert the wholesome image of Kris Kringle by saying he wants to be his woman's Santa Claus and that she should unwrap him. What a gentleman. His idea of a meaningful gift is his own, likely STD-riddled, body. From there the album transitions into "Party Christmas," a song as bad as its title. But Sweat isn't done until he has defiled every single symbol of Christmas. He finishes his album with a song called "Under the Christmas Tree." Use your imagination to figure out how this one ends.

About The Author

Ethan Maffey

Both a writer and a fan of vinyl records since age 5, it wasn't until nearly three decades later that Oregon Native Ethan Maffey derived a plan to marry the two passions by writing about music. From blogging on MySpace in 2007 and then Blogspot, to launching his own website, 83Music, and eventually freelancing...
Pin It


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Today | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat | Sun | Mon
Juju Eyeball

Juju Eyeball - River's Place

Thu., June 30, 6-8 p.m.
Submitting an event is free and easy.

Newsletter Signup

Get Central Oregon daily news
directly in your inbox

Get Social

Latest in Sound Stories & Interviews

More by Ethan Maffey

Want to advertise with us?

For info on print and digital advertising, >> Click Here

© 2022 LAY IT OUT INC | 704 NW GEORGIA AVE, BEND, OREGON 97703  |   Privacy Policy

Website powered by Foundation