Pin It

Water World, Hold the Costner 

There used to be a bartender in Denver who wore a button that said, "Ask me about water, no ice." Only the truly daring would venture the question because the answer was a whirlwind of hate and distaste she had for those who didn't just take their water from the tap with some ice cubes in it. I don't share this hatred, but I am always amazed by all of the creative ways people have found to enjoy one of life's simplest pleasures.

A lot can be learned from the person who places a water order.

No ice? You think a lot about hydration and you don't sip your water you inhale it. You will drink at least three full glasses of water in long gulps and the only reason you stop devouring it is because you don't know what's going on in conversation as you've spent most of the evening making trips to the restroom.

Straw? You are a woman, men hate straws and immediately pull them from their drinks in wild disbandment. You like to look pretty when you drink your water and you don't want your lipstick to tarnish. The straw can also be used as a tool in flirtation as you stir your water with it and use your other hand to flip your hair.

Three ice cubes, two little straws, one lime, one lemon twist, and a splash of cranberry. You are high maintenance and sexually frustrated. You are never satisfied with what is offered to you and you often look a gift horse in the mouth. You will spend most of the evening with a look of bored wretchedness and stare at others with distaste. For you, I would recommend a simple glass of lukewarm tap water in a scratched-up pint glass - you'll learn a lot when you break free from your water order.

H2O on the rocks

Take any glass, add ice, and fill to top with water.

Pin It

Speaking of Cocktailing


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Join Our Newsletter

Latest in Beer & Drink

More by Source Weekly

  • Little Bites: Thanksgiving Dinner is Served! Restaurants that will cook for you on Thursday

    Little Bites: Thanksgiving Dinner is Served! Restaurants that will cook for you on Thursday

    While many of us are going to be slaving over stoves, stuffing, brining or the always fun deep-frying our butterball turkeys this Thursday, there are options for those who don't feel like sticking their hands in the cavity of a 20-pound bird or cutting up the neck to stew some gravy. For all of you who would rather have a skilled chef prepare your fixins, here's a list of restaurants serving Thanksgiving Dinner, courtesy of Visit Bend.
    • Nov 16, 2017
  • More »

Readers also liked…

© 2018 LAY IT OUT INC | 704 NW GEORGIA, BEND, OREGON 97703  |   Privacy Policy

Website powered by Foundation