Whatever, Mom | Culture Features | Bend | The Source Weekly - Bend, Oregon
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Whatever, Mom 

Mom to Mom

There's one woman in my life that tops all the rest.

One calm, wise woman that knows a thing or two about patience.

One woman that embodies the qualities of an incredible mother in ways I can only hope to mimic for my sweet Cade.

And I owe this woman all the credit in the world for putting up with nearly three decades of my brothers' my bullsh*t.

Yes, I'm talking about my mom—my beautiful, creative, strong, independent mom. And seeing as how she's made it this far without any heart attacks, murder attempts, or trips to the loony bin, I'd say it's time for some answers...

Me: What was your biggest fear going into motherhood?

My mom: That something would happen to me and I wouldn't be around to take care of you. I didn't really know what I was in for though, so I just took it all as it came and did my best.

Did you ever feel that your role as a mom was keeping you from pursuing any personal goals?

No, never. I just did what I was going to do with you guys in tow, either physically or in spirit.

What was the hardest part about raising a girl (after two boys)?

That I automatically had different expectations. It was harder to allow you to do things as readily, or to listen to your good judgment and reasoning as easily. You had to convince me more than your brothers did.

How would you say that I'm most like/unlike you?

You're more creative than I am, you communicate your feelings more effectively, and you're more open and extroverted. You also recognize your strengths and weaknesses more easily. But we're alike in our adventurous spirit, and we're both strong-willed and independent.

What's your mommy superpower?

I have super-vision. I always knew (most of) what you guys were up to. And I was the only one in the family that knew where to find all the lost items.

What made Dad a great co-parent?

He was very active in your lives, and he taught you many important things that would later make an impression on others in your lives.

What was your greatest mom-challenge after you and Dad split?

Having the open communication that I wanted with you guys while balancing what to be open about. You were the only ones I wanted to (and felt like I could) talk to about my feelings, but I needed to be aware of the possible effects it would have on you.

What "mommy fears" kept you up at night?

Forcing myself to let go in degrees as you got older, hoping you'd be able to keep going on your own—making your own decisions without my input or insight all of the time. It only takes a second to do something you'll regret for the rest of your life, and I didn't want that to happen to you.

What's something you didn't expect to happen when you signed up for this role?

Not being able to direct the whole show. I didn't expect so many things to be out of my control.

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