The Bulletin's copy desk must be under standing orders to put a positive spin on the headline of absolutely every story, no matter how grim the actual news is.
Case in point: this morning's front-page weather story, headlined "Travel was hazardous, but folks still found some fun."
The first paragraph (or "lede," as we say in the newspaper biz) read: "More snow rolled into Central Oregon on Thursday morning, causing dozens of traffic accidents, delaying schools and killing a Bend man in a vehicle rollover on U.S. Highway 97 near Deschutes Junction."
Yep, that's real fun stuff.
Actually, even if you read through the whole story you won't find anything about "fun," unless you count navigating unplowed streets and putting on tire chains as "fun."
The Eye was prompted to speculate about the headlines that Bend's Only Daily Newspaper might have written about some famous events of history.
April 16, 1865: "Mrs. Lincoln unharmed by assassin's bullet"
April 15, 1912: "More than 700 rescued as Titanic goes down"
Oct. 25, 1929: "Stock market collapse creates opportunity for bargain hunters"
Any other suggestions?