The Curious Case of the Professor and Police
"You boorish Paddy! Egress my domicile or shall I berate
you further?" That's my take on what Henry Louis Gates Jr. said to Cambridge
cops last week. First it was Jacko "dying" and now a Harvard professor getting
arrested for disorderly conduct (charges were dropped within two days).Which
African-American will Obama turn to next in order to distract us from the
health care boondoggle (which no longer includes the words "universal" or
"single-payer")? This curious case-the arrest and health care initiative-only
gets more interesting: The 911 tapes have been released, contradicting
arresting officer Sgt. James Crowley's report that caller Lucia Whalen
mentioned "black" men entering the house and that he spoke with her at the
scene. She didn't, on both counts. Sure Gates probably berated the officers
eloquently after being found in his own home with ID and, yes, Gates is an
insufferable intellectual who feigns interest in common folks' problems on PBS.
But he was the wrong guy to arrest.Boston is hardly a beacon of racial harmony,
pity the next non-Harvard professor found snooping around Cambridge. Makes you
really appreciate living in Central Oregon, don't it? Our cops are pretty cool,
and the only minorities to be found are obese people visiting from Houston. One
final note: To repair race relations, Obama has invited both Sgt. Crowley and
Professor Gates for beer at the White House. How they will laugh and laugh!
Rollilng heavy our of HoustonPut Down That Beer-The Chinese Are Coming!
Several days of trade negotiations have begun between US
and Chinese officials. In case you've been isolated with your militia for the
past decade, China is responsible for 80 percent of the US trade deficit, not
including oil, and our great-grandkids will still owe them at least a fin.
Chinese officials are rightly concerned about the stability of the American
greenback, and Obama said that one goal is to "put [China's] growth on a more
sustainable level." For all who manipulate our Founding Father's notions of
taxation and debt, remember that it was Alexander Hamilton who didn't want to
pay our bills after the Revolution, so other nations had an investment in our
future success. So, when you drive down a newly paved road, thank Chairman Mao
(China bought the US Treasury bonds to pay for the asphalt); when you collect
unemployment, thank the Peoples Republic (we sure as Hell can't afford so many
idle workers!), kiss your wife for Mao, eat Chinese for Mao. Wait, forget that
last one-What we think of Chinese food isn't really Chinese, it's far too
healthy, has meat, and needs more MSG.
Breaking News Alert! Another Obama Distraction!!!
Tweets are emerging that Shaquille O'Neal was in Washington
D.C. and decided to drop by and visit basketball-loving President Obama.
"Question, I'm n dc, think if I walk up to the white house, they let me in, I
kno the answer, let me kno wht u think, o yea I'm wearin shrts." texted Shaq,
who was obviously wearing shorts at the time. No luck this time; giant black
men, however rich, still can't do a cameo like Elvis did with Nixon, "The white
house wouldn't let me in, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy." Thank you, Twitter. You have
made us all illiterate and numb to actual happenings around the world.
