We're Not Gonna Take It!: Handouts, handups, and ham handedness | The Source Weekly - Bend, Oregon

We're Not Gonna Take It!: Handouts, handups, and ham handedness

Not afraid of a handoutA small, stoic and stupid number of Republican Governors are saying they won't accept funds from the newly passed economic stimulus

Not afraid of a handoutA small, stoic and stupid number of Republican Governors are saying they won't accept funds from the newly passed economic stimulus bill. Seriously, the residents of Idaho, Alaska, Texas, Louisiana and South Carolina won't receive a cut of President Obama's $800 billion plan, if their elected leaders have their way. Why? Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal is questioning $1 billion funding for the national census and $50 million for the arts, saying it's "not apparent to me why they had to be in the stimulus package." Maybe so --- Perhaps to accurately count the number of people in Louisiana and New Orleans (which each of us now own at least nine square/sinking inches of, after evacuating and rebuilding post-Hurricane Katrina). Republicans hate accurate tallies, and the arts - we all know that - and it must be added that South Carolina is already a welfare state, receiving around $1.30 for every $1 it sends to Washington.
 And don't get me started on Alaska residents getting paid to live there; why Idaho should secede or be removed from the Union outright; or the trillions in damage Texas presidents have already done. Instead, let's ask a Republican Governor with real problems to ponder: State contractors unpaid for months and workers now being laid-off en masse (and 4,000 inmates about to be released due to a lack of funding for incarceration), upon hearing that Governors from his Party wouldn't accept stimulus funds, California's Arnold Schwarzenegger said, "I am more than happy to take his money or [that of] any other governor in this country that doesn't want to take this money. I take it because I think California needs it."

"It was not meant to be racist..."

Good Ole Rupe!Those famous words are usually followed by "and the best man at my wedding was black..." But not in this case, as New York Post Chairman (as well as the owner of Fox, News Corporation, and a minority investor in a cloning lab for boys in Brazil) Rupert Murdoch apologized for a cartoon in last week's Post. Depicting a chimpanzee shot dead by two police officers, with one saying, "They'll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill." the cartoon by Sean Delonas drew cries of racism and an inferred death threat against President Obama. Not so, said Mr. Murdoch, "It was not meant to be racist, but unfortunately, it was interpreted by many as such." Oh! Okay! Our bad - Sorry for questioning you or your media empire. Ha-Ha! Now I get it! The murdered chimpanzee isn't the President but just a dead chimp - Hilarious!

Now THIS Is Racist!

Pledging $900 million to help rebuild Gaza after Israel utterly razed the place in the latest bi-monthly war, the United States is now holier than thou. However, when compared to the nearly $3 billion in direct (publicly reported) aid we send to Israel each year, along with a new military deal that Dubya signed (totaling $30 billion over 10 years), there is good reason to believe that Israel will continue to utterly raze Gaza and the Palestinians for many years to come - Requiring more US aid, and many more military deals (bombs ain't cheap). Why do the people of the Middle East hate us? Hmmm, it must be our freedom...

Buffalo Can't Get a Break

As if it isn't enough to lose four straight Super Bowls, Tim Russert, and be known for blizzards and dreary gray skies that don't clear till May, Buffalo has had a Continental plane crash that killed 50 in its suburbs, and a Muslim man who started Bridges TV to counter anti-Islam stereotypes behead his wife - all within the past two weeks. Eager for optimism, Buffalo is investing heavily in breeding cute puppies to show a softer, happier side to the world - until those puppies grow into vengeful beasts with a taste for blood, and have to be drown in the Erie Canal.


Dying from Leukemia, nine year-old Jayla Cooper was married in Texas this week to a boy she met at a cancer clinic, with her mother saying it was her last wish; in Saudi Arabia, an eight year-old girl was married to a 47 year-old man to settle her father's debts; the CDC reported that beer pong is tied to the spread of flu and mono (and drunkenness); two men are claiming to possess the single window from the book depository in Dallas where Lee Harvey Oswald (supposedly) shot JFK, and a Judge will decide which is the authentic window - Or is he part of the conspiracy too?

Metolius Hearing

The legislature kicks off its formal public process for protecting the Metolius Basin from destination resort development this Saturday in Redmond at the Deschutes County Fairgrounds with a hearing on the bill (HB 2227) which would designate the already Wild and Scenic river basin an Area of Critical Concern, effectively halting a pair of resorts that developers, with the blessing of Jefferson County have slated for the area. The developers have proposed two very different resorts in the basin, one a smaller (relatively) "eco-friendly" resort with about 500 homes in the upper basin and another 2,500 unit resort on roughly 640 acres that straddles a ridgeline between the Deschutes and Metolius watersheds and includes plans for (you guessed it) a golf course. But conservationists and many other observers have said that neither of the resorts is a good fit for the basin where the Metolius River literally springs from the ground near Camp Sherman before rushing to its confluence with the Deschutes at Lake Billy Chinook. On its way it sustains one of North America's last and best bull trout populations as well as a host of other wildlife, including wild rainbow trout, deer, elk and raptors.

While this town's daily newspaper has tried hard to portray the push to protect the Metolius as being led by a small group of interlopers, those of us who have hiked, fished and camped along this magnificent river know what the fight is all about.

You can join in by showing up to the hearing, 11 a.m in the South Sister Conference Hall, or by submitting written testimony to House Majority Leader and Land Use Committee Chair, Rep. Mary Nolan, H-295 900 Court St. NE Salem, OR 97301 [email protected].

The 2nd Annual Source Fiction Contest!!!

Once again, the Source is using one entire issue to showcase works of fiction. Your fiction, to be more precise. If you've got a piece of fiction, send us a short story or excerpt from a longer piece (1,500 words maximum). If you're chosen, your piece will be printed in the Source, and you'll be handed some prizes, as well. So send that next great American novel to [email protected] by Friday, March 13 and check the April 2 issue of the paper to read the winning submissions. Happy writing!


Webster's defines the word "Ringer" as: an athlete or horse fraudulently substituted for another in a competition or event.

And that sounds like a pretty accurate description of what our intra-city rivals at The Bulletin threw up at last weekend's BLP's Education Foundation Trivia Bee. Some quick background: There is a long-standing tradition in which The Source and The Bulletin teams face off in the annual trivia bee at the Tower Theater. In fact, organizers usually place the two teams right next to each other on the stage. It's a time for some good-natured competition for a good cause. So we were more than a little surprised to see that the Bully chickened, I mean opted, not to field its OWN team this year, instead it "sponsored" a team from the local library. Yes that's right, they brought in professional researchers for a trivia bee. Honestly, the biggest media outlet in Central Oregon with its team of local, state and, national reporters couldn't round up three bodies between its news, advertising, production, and support departments? WTF!?

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