Expert Q&A with Scott Rowles, MA, PE/T

Q: My tween son is easily distracted in the classroom and seems to be struggling. He is bright but unfortunately, is developing a reputation as a troublemaker. What can I do to better support him?

A: Great question! This is a common scenario that can happen at multiple grade levels. Adolescent development and increasing rigor in the classroom are dynamic factors and when these situations arise, we want to make sure we shift our view from labeling his struggle as “troublemaking” to “behavior that indicates a skill deficit.” We then want to investigate this with curiosity, seeking to identify which skill sets are missing. Your son’s behavior could be an attentional issue, an inability to understand the content/processes in the classroom or a social-emotional issue. His behavior indicates something else below the surface. The most important action you can take is to continue to encourage him, show love and celebrate the positive behaviors he regularly exhibits, however small they are. All kids want to do well but often don’t know how.

Q: My teenage daughter is falling behind in school, struggles to keep up and claims that her teachers are mean. I thought this was a phase, but the situation has only worsened. We clearly need help.

A: During the teenage years, the school environment becomes more complex each year, and the skills needed to manage grades and teachers while navigating multiple classes grow more demanding. It’s likely that as she faces consequences for not meeting the system’s expectations, she blames the teacher, when instead she needs skills, support and guidance. This is a great time to connect with your school’s administration. In addition, implementing regular, structured support and accountability with a tutor, peer, coach, counselor or educational therapist can help prevent unfavorable academic outcomes. They can either directly support your student or help you set up routines at home that increase collaboration between parent and student.

Q: Our 12-year-old daughter was recently diagnosed with ADHD. Where should we start with finding support for her?

A: As a first step, I would connect with your daughter’s pediatrician who can make recommendations for potential medication support, a mental health therapist or an educational therapist to help with the specifics of navigating the local school system with ADHD. In the meantime, I would encourage you to educate yourself about ADHD symptoms and mechanics, including what the current research says about supporting teenagers. I highly recommend books and podcasts by credible authors, as opposed to news and social media as your primary means of education on this topic. Getting professional help is of utmost importance—someone who is willing to work alongside a parent/caregiver that has educated themselves about ADHD. This approach will reduce the likelihood of anxiety, shame and depression which are conditions commonly seen alongside ADHD.

Q: When I was a student, I don’t remember hearing about anxiety being a disabling condition for kids. Now, I hear that word all the time. What has changed?

A: Quite a bit has changed in the last few decades. First, modern technology and social media create constant comparison to a wider world, which can heighten kids’ (and adults’) sense of competition and comparison. At the same time, kids have less time to be bored—the very space where self-reflection occurs and identity develops. Constant connection can make it harder to recover from social pressure and can fuel feelings of inadequacy. Additionally, I’m seeing increasing anxiety linked to today’s school environment, assessment structure and reliance on technology.

Secondly, we’re just more aware of anxiety. Anxiety has always been a part of the human experience, but we have just become better at talking about it. Now that it is easier to identify and assess, it’s something you might hear about in everyday settings, like dinner conversations or school conferences and classrooms.

The earlier we have open conversations about this with our kids, the earlier we can teach them the necessary anxiety management skills they’ll need.

This article appears in Bend Nest Fall 2026.