A theater in Portland was going to do a marathon of all the Marvel Cinematic Universe movies, leading into the opening of "The Avengers: Infinity War." I was excited to sit in a theater for close to 42 hours straight and mainline Marvel while forgoing showers, decent food and the love of a good woman.
The theater canceled the event, but the idea was too good to pass up, so I did the marathon in my living room—with the added benefit of a shower, slightly better food and my cat, who loves me more than he should. Here are my notes on the 18 movies. Things got a little weird.
7:55am: "Iron Man", 126 minutes
8:00am: It's amazing how good RDJ is as Tony Stark. The Marvel Cinematic Universe wouldn't have exploded like it did without him.
8:15: Stark's super-douchey in this one.
8:48: I see you Terrence Howard. Sorry you got fired.
9:15: I love montages of Tony science-ing.
9:36: Favreau directed the hell out of this. Sets the tone for the MCU beautifully.
9:50: Jeff Bridges is a great villain, but the finale of two robots fighting is a little underwhelming after the fun and originality of the first two acts.
10:05am: "The Incredible Hulk", 112 minutes
10:07: It's so weird they do the entire origin story over the opening credits. Good choice though. Origin stories are the pits.
10:10: Ugh. Ed Norton watches "The Incredible Hulk" on TV! What does that even mean? Did they make a show about his life? Is it a parallel universe?
10:47: Ed Norton and Liv Tyler have zero chemistry.
11:10: William Hurt is so good at playing smug self-righteousness.
11:30: Hulk's anime hair is the worst. Looks like a comb-over.
11:51: That was boring and hurt my head.
11:55: Had a wee.
Noon: "Iron Man 2", 125 minutes
12:17pm: Heavy dialogue.
12:30: Butt getting sore. Nothing is happening.
12:48: Mickey Rourke should have been Thanos. Nah, that's dumb. Sam Rockwell should have been Thanos.
1:30: Rhodey basically steals War Machine for the military. Surprised Stark is still friends with him after that.
2:10: Oh hey, Sam ending as the first "Iron Man," but with more robutts.
2:20: Order a pizza. Feed my cat. Have another wee.
2:30pm: "Thor", 114 minutes
2:45: Asgard looks like shit.
3:00: My belief is not suspended.
3:17: Loki's a lil' scamp.
3:38: Whole pizza gone.
4:20: Hemsworth and Hiddleston were great but this was forgettable. Ooh, it's 4:20, time for a safety meeting.
4:35pm: "Captain America: The First Avenger", 124 minutes
5:00: So badass that this is a WWII picture. I'm so into this.
5:05: Slept for an hour.
6:10: Woke in time to see Cap destroy Red Skull. Good for me.
6:50pm: "The Avengers", 143 minutes
6:55: Such a weird opening. Start with someone better than SHIELD agents.
7:30: Cap is the MVP of this series.
7:55: I wonder if ScarJo would answer a fan letter.
8:19: Hulk owns everything he's in, yet they can't make a good Hulk movie. Senseless.
8:45: Should I order more pizza?
9:00: This movie is still great. Most of it stands up really well.
9:15: Had a wee.
9:30pm: "Iron Man 3", 131 minutes
9:45: So underrated.
10:10: Wish I had a plucky child sidekick.
10:15: That would be inappropriate.
10:30: Wonder how Guy Pearce is doing.
10:49: Probably better than Terrence Howard.
11:30: Perfect end to Tony's three-film arc.
11:40: Go outside for fresh air. Smoke a cigarette because irony is lost on me.
Midnight: "Thor: The Dark World", 112 minutes
12:15: So fake looking. So phony. No one cares.
12:30: Shutting my eyes in protest.
12:49: Cat farted me awake.
1:50: Bye, Felicia Portman.
2am: "Captain America: The Winter Soldier", 136 minutes
2:05: I've seen this like nine times.
4:10: Pinned to my chair for every minute. A perfect movie.
4:15: I should write ScarJo that fan letter.
4:30am: "Guardians of the Galaxy", 122 minutes
5:30: Way too high for this movie right now.
6:30: Way too sober for this movie right now.
6:45am: "Avengers: Age of Ultron", 141 minutes
7:00: The sun is overrated.
7:30: Robutts.
8:15: The Vision is sweet.
8:45: hahahahahahaha
9:00: Too many robutts.
9:15: Showerbeer.
9:30am: "Ant-Man", 117 minutes
10:15: Paul Rudd makes everything better.
11:00: Low-stakes. Choo-choo.
11:30: Is it Tuesday right now?
12:15pm: "Captain America: Civil War", 147 Minutes
12:30: I wish I could scratch my back. Bed sores?
2:15: Great villain. Wish I could hug Tony. Did I write ScarJo a fan letter?
2:30: Power nap.
7pm: "Doctor Strange", 115 minutes
7:30: Too trippy or not trippy enough.
8:15: Not trippy enough.
9:00: "Yes Album Art: The Motion Picture"
9:15pm: "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2", 137 Minutes
9:30: Babyyyy Groooot
10:30: So colors.
Midnight: Woke up to my cat partially eating me.
12:30am: Finish fighting my cat.
12:45am: "Spider-Man: Homecoming", 133 minutes
1:00: I should write Michael Keaton a fan letter.
2:00: Everyone is charming. I wish high school was this adorable.
2:50: More of these, please.
3:00am: "Thor: Ragnarok", 130 minutes
3:30: So much Jack Kirby influence.
4:00: Hemsworth really grew into the role.
5:30: What a sad ending for how funny the movie was. I should call my mom.
6:00: Power nap
10:00: Eat breakfast.
11:00: Coffeeeeee and drive to the theater.
12:50pm: "Black Panther", 134 minutes
1:00: None of these people know what I just did.
3:15: That movie is almost perfect except for some bad CG at the end. BATTLE RHINOS.
Thursday, April 26
10:50pm: "Avengers: Infinity War" in 3D IMAX, 149 minutes
10:51: Sold out house. Tons of people dressed up. Lots of Infinity Gauntlets. I snuck in $15 in candy.
10:52: The credits roll and the audience becomes reverent. Not a peep.
11:00: This is much darker than I expected. Kids are crying. This is like "Game of Thrones" but for kids.
11:30: Spellbinding. Ten years and 18 movies have led to this, and it's basically perfect. All the character interactions we want are there. Wanna know what a conversation between Thor and Rocket looks like? Or Spider-Man and Dr. Strange? This is everything.
Midnight: Brutal. Thanos is not screwing around. Perfect villain. It's basically his movie.
12:50: I can't take much more of this. It's almost too much of a good thing.
1:15: Kids crying everywhere. Damn you, Marvel. This transcended everything I expected from it, basically becoming the most epic film ever made. There are things in this never attempted in a move before.
1:30am: We won't get an ending until May of 2019. This is the first half of what's basically the season finale of the MCU. The cliffhanger is vicious. Thank you, Marvel. You stuck the landing. Hard. Maybe I should buy tickets for tomorrow while I'm here.
