Letters to the Editor 03/23/2023

The snow doesn’t stop Bend Rugby from getting outside to practice. Thanks to @bendrugby for tagging us in this beautiful blue sky photo of the field in Riverbend Park. Check out the team’s Instagram for team updates, game/practice schedules and how to get involved. Don’t forget to share your photos with us and tag @sourceweekly for a chance to be featured as Instagram of the week and in print as our Lightmeter. Winners receive a free print from @highdesertframeworks. Credit: @bendrugby

Guest Opinion: Let’s Stop Blaming
Survivors Once and For All

As the Executive Director at Saving Grace, I am routinely asked about our domestic violence and sexual assault services, other nonprofits in the area, my thoughts on policy that impacts survivors and abusers, and sometimes, “What did you think about that TV show?” or “Is this sexist?” I welcome all questions, because often people don’t want to discuss domestic violence and sexual assault. However, there is one question that I don’t like: “What steps can women take to stay safe and prevent assault?”

Let me step on my soap box for a minute to officially say that there is nothing that a woman, or any person, can do to prevent rape, assault or abuse, and these types of questions perpetuate the stigma of blame, shame and hesitation that survivors often face. While I’m up here, I’d like a chance to ask a question:

Why does our society often want to blame and place ultimate responsibility on the victim?

Victim blaming is questioning people who experience violence and asking what they could have done to prevent it. It tries to identify supposed weaknesses in a person or mistakes they made that could have made them a target. It is important to understand that sexual violence is never the fault of the person who experiences it. Sexual violence happens because someone chooses to cause harm, not because someone is wearing a certain item of clothing, said a certain thing or was in a certain place. We need to recognize that people are never required to say no “strongly enough,” fight back against an assault, or follow the many and sometimes conflicting safety tips available in order to avoid the potential for being harmed by another person.

Victim blaming can be very damaging to survivors and perpetuate a culture of abuse. People who have experienced sexual violence often report feelings of fear, stigma and self-blame regarding their experiences, and victim blaming can be a barrier to survivors receiving the support and help they deserve.

So, what can you do to change this pervasive and toxic form of thinking?
Challenge victim-blaming ideas when you encounter them.
Resist allowing abusers to use excuses for why they abuse.
Acknowledge that survivors are the experts in their lives, and they made the best choice for themselves in the moment to survive an assault.
Recognize that victim-blaming can take on many forms which can be rooted in sexist, racist, sexist, homophobic and/or transphobic perspectives.
Tell survivors, “I believe you,” or ask, “How can I help?”

We know that sexual assault and victim blaming is everywhere, and it will take all of us to address it. This is why our team works 24 hours a day, 365 days a year to provide safe and confidential services to our community. It’s why we at Saving Grace are committed to helping survivors find safety, hope and healing. Please join us in making Central Oregon a place where all people are safe from abuse. Let’s stop blaming survivors once and for all.

—Cassi McQueen is the executive director of Saving Grace. Find information about their services at saving-grace.org.

RE: Concert Ticket Monopoly

I am in on the class action lawsuit. Tried to get tickets to Chris Stapleton: Impossible. I got in a queue and I had over 2,000 people in front of me.

—Jeff Boswell

What Our Members of Congress Stand For

Everyone in Deschutes County is represented by one of Oregon’s two Republican Members of Congress. So it is important that we understand what they stand for.

Cliff Bentz already has a track record as a MAGA extremist. His first vote in office was to disqualify Pennsylvania’s certified electoral votes for Joe Biden. He then voted against the pandemic recovery bill, the bipartisan infrastructure bill, and against lowering insulin and other drug costs. MAGA Republicans, including Bentz, opposed these and many other measures that have directly benefitted Deschutes County residents.

As a freshman, Lori Chavez-DeRemer has just begun to define her record. But already we can see that her extremist beliefs and actions belie her concerted efforts to create a more moderate image. Although she touts her initial bipartisan efforts on the Farm Bill, she has joined Bentz in supporting extremely divisive and politically-motivated legislation advanced by the MAGA House leadership. They have both supported:

The “Born-Alive Abortion Survivors Protection Act,” a wholly unnecessary bill (infanticide is already prohibited); and
The “REINS Act,” a bill to delay or stop regulations for public health and safety, financial reform, and worker protection, making industry even less accountable to the public, as was tragically the case in the East Palestine railway disaster.

Chavez-DeRemer also recently co-sponsored the “Protection of Women and Girls in Sports Act,” a hateful anti-transgender bill that whips up public acrimony by targeting a tiny, defenseless minority group.

Is this what we want our Representatives in Congress to be doing?

-Mary Chaffin

Letter of
the Week:

Thanks for sharing that info, Mary. Come enjoy your gift card to Palate!

—Nicole Vulcan

This article appears in Source Weekly March 23, 2023.