Posted inOpinion

Big End-of-Summer Straight Poop Sale – Stock Up Now!

Monday, Sept. 5
Tell us how you really feel, Jimmy: Teamsters Union President Jimmy Hoffa Jr., warming up Labor Day crowd in Detroit for President Obama, rips into Tea Party: “Let's take these sons of bitches out” … Tea Partiers wail about “violent” rhetoric … In tepid follow-up, Obama promises to support collective bargaining, challenges Congress to pass his forthcoming jobs plan … Euro-trashed: European stock markets and value of Euro plunge on concerns over safety of banks … Postage due: US Postal Service nearing default, facing deficit of $9.2 billion … Well, at least somebody's having a good year: Hollywood scores record-breaking summer, posting box office revenues of $4.4 billion.
Tuesday, Sept. 6
Following the money: Super PAC called “Make Us Great Again” plans to spend $55 million to snag GOP presidential nomination for Texas Gov. Rick Perry … In tape obtained by Mother Jones magazine, right-wing billionaire Charles Koch tells attendees at secret seminar for fellow fat cats that “we have Saddam Hussein” in the White House and 2012 elections will be “the mother of all wars” … Speaking of dangerous reptiles: Hunters in Agusan del Sur, Philippines, catch 21-foot saltwater crocodile, think there are even bigger ones out there … Hello, goodbye: Carol Bartz ousted as CEO of Yahoo; tells employees via email, “I've just been fired over the phone by Yahoo's chairman of the board,” Roy Bostock … Calling Det. Axel Foley: Eddie Murphy, who made some funny movies in the 1980s, to host 2012 Academy Awards show, first time for him.

Posted inOpinion

Obama Bashing Accomplishes Nothing

Over the past few weeks I have read with much dismay, the opinions put forth that our president is either worthless or spending too much. Those are not the exact words but they convey the overall tone. First and foremost, I moved here to Bend because of my love for Central Oregon, but what I don't love are the undertones of hate and a disbelief in our current president to be able to get people back to work.
Let's talk about spending. How much was spent on the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, which were started by President Bush? Trillions. But that's ok, right? Spend. Spend. Spend. How much was spent on the world's greatest scam called the housing bubble? Hundreds of billions. But that's ok, right? Spend. Spend. Spend. And how much did Mr. Bush spend on TARP? Over $700 billion. Again, that's ok, right?

Posted inOpinion

Welcome Summer With Our Garden-Fresh Straight Poop

Welcome Summer With Our Garden-Fresh Straight Poop

Monday,
June 27
Details, details: Michelle Bachman, kicking off presidential campaign in Waterloo, Iowa, says she's proud she was born in same town as John Wayne. Problem: Waterloo was birthplace not of John Wayne but of John Wayne Gacy, serial killer … Blago's busted: Former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich found guilty of having unpronounceable name and silly haircut. Just kidding. He's convicted on corruption charges … Knock yourself out, kid: Supreme Court rules states can't ban sale of violent video games to children … Dicey: Wildfires force evacuation of Los Alamos Nuclear Laboratory in New Mexico; officials say nothing to worry about. Uh-huh … Two Most Wanted: International Criminal Court issues warrants for arrest of Muammar Qaddafi and son Saif al Islam Qaddafi for “crimes against humanity.”

Posted inCulture

Theatrical Precipitation: A strong cast and direction make 2nd Street's Rainmaker a hit

This weekend, 2nd Street Theatre owner Maralyn Thoma welcomed guests with an opening night champagne reception and red velvet cupcakes while expounding on the virtues of The Rainmaker.
“It’s a sweet play,” she said, handing out playbills and warm smiles. “It’ll make you cry.”
The dust bowl drama, written in 1954 by N. Richard Nash, was made famous by Burt Lancaster’s riveting rendition of the play’s charismatic con man who tries to swindle a small town’s hopes and dreams during an epic drought.
Sisters’ thespian Shawn O’Hern landed the lead role of slick grifter, Bill Starbuck.

Posted inCulture

The Fancy Awards: What to do at your Oscar party

The Oscars are stupid, which is why you should take Humpy’s suggestions for your neighbor’s Oscar party.

Hey, everybody! I'm the ACADEMY AWARDS! OOH-LA-LA! Look how fancy I am! I'll be on TV this coming Sunday, February 27, on ABC at 5:30 p.m., so everybody should stop whatever it is they're doing and watch me because I'm sooooo super IMPORTANT and sooooo FANCY! Oooooooh! Look at my fancy statue! Oooooooh! Look at all the fancy people! Oooooooh! Look at all the fancy clothes! Currently, I'm wearing a powdered wig, a ruffled collar, and skintight breeches, and I'm waving a pretty lacy hankie in the air because OOOOOOOOOOH! I'M SO FANCY!

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