Joseph Oguiza

Bonus Coverage: Hanks crosses Pope, Source takes to the air and more

• By Joseph Oguiza
They don't care how big tom hanks is. Vatican to Hanks: Get Lost The Vatican has told Tom Hanks it doesn't want him in church. It's not his religion they have a problem with - it's the movie he's making. The producers of Hanks' new movie, Angels and Demons, had asked permission to shoot inside two of Rome's historic churches, Santa Maria del Popolo and Santa Maria della Vittoria. Fuhgeddaboudit, said the diocese of Rome. Angels and Demons is a prequel to the 2006 movie The Da Vinci Code, based on the blockbuster novel of the same name by Dan Brown, which espoused the controversial (at least to orthodox Christians) theory that Jesus had married Mary Magdalene and had children. Monsignor Marco Fibbi, a diocesan spokesman, told Reuters that the diocese had denied the filmmakers access to the churches because of the movie's subject matter. "It's a film that treats religious issues in a way that contrasts with common religious sentiment," Fibbi said. "Normally we read the script but this time it was not necessary. The name Dan Brown was enough."
• Tags: Editorial, Upfront

Keeping the Beat Going: You don't know Diddley, R Kelly's home cinema, and closet dwellers

• By Joseph Oguiza
Bo knows guitarsKeeping the Beat Going BOMP-a-bomp-bomp ... bomp-BOMP. If you've ever heard rock-n-roll - whether it was Buddy Holly, Elvis Presley, the Rolling Stones, the Grateful Dead, Bruce Springsteen, U2 or anybody in between - you've heard that beat. It was the creation of Elias Otha Bates, better known to the world as Bo Diddley. Born in Mississippi and raised in Chicago, he reportedly was inspired to start playing guitar by hearing the great bluesman John Lee Hooker and began his career as a street musician. After several years of doing nightclub gigs he released his first record, "Bo Diddley," in 1955, and it rose to the top spot on the R&B charts. That song introduced the "Bo Diddley beat," described by Wikipedia as "a rumba-like beat similar to 'hambone,' a style used by street performers who play out the beat by slapping and patting their arms, legs, chest, and cheeks while chanting rhymes." The music scholars say Bo Diddley didn't really invent the beat - that it goes back to West Africa. But what the hell do they know.
• Tags: Editorial, Upfront

Rock Stars vs. Porn Stars: Sex tapes, classroom wizards and city scale acupuncture

• By Joseph Oguiza
Text Me a Dime Bag Back in the dark days before Blackberry's and smart phones, college kids had to score their illicit drugs the old fashioned way - with Ma Bell and the doorbell. Not anymore, at least at San Diego State University where authorities recently arrested 75 students in a massive drug dealing investigation. According to the Associated Press, one of the suspects had recently sent out a mass text message to his "faithful customers" informing them that he and his friends would be unable to provide cocaine over the weekend while they were in Las Vegas. The message also advertised an ongoing "sale" and listed the reduced prices for some drugs. In all, authorities nabbed two kilos of cocaine, 350 Ecstasy pills, as well as marijuana, hash, mushrooms and methamphetamine. Among the places raided was the Theta Chi fraternity house where authorities said fraternity members were openly dealing drugs. Which got Upfront to thinking that there are a lot of frat traditions that probably should be abandoned: binge drinking, hazing, racial discrimination etc. But maybe that whole trafficking in barrels of Bush Lite wasn't such a bad business model after all, at least when you look at the alternative.
• Tags: Editorial, The Boot, Upfront

The Hottest Woman on the Web: Iraq ain't no Disneyland and more

• By Joseph Oguiza
It's All in the Finger of the Beholder the chick with the most clicks.Who's the sexiest woman in the world? Upfront has our own opinion (we'll get to that later) but according to the men's on-line magazine FHM, it's Megan Fox, the 21-year-old star of the Transformers movies. The shapely brunette, notable for her blue eyes and plentiful tattoos, beat out three Jessicas (Biel, Alba and Simpson), two Jennifers (Aniston and Love-Hewitt) and a swarm of Nicoles, Lindsays, Beyonces, Keiras, Charlizes, Halles and Giselles, plus a Fergie, to take top honors in the highly unscientific, on-line poll.
• Tags: Editorial, Upfront

Off Into the Sunset, With a Bang: A porn queen calls it quits and Gonzo can't get started

A big T.S. Eliot fan - honest. In news that will bring sorrow to the hearts of porn aficionados everywhere, Upfront has been informed that

• By Joseph Oguiza
A big T.S. Eliot fan - honest. In news that will bring sorrow to the hearts of porn aficionados everywhere, Upfront has been informed that Sunset Thomas has shot her last XXX-rated feature. A news release from Vavoom Films (we are not making this up) informed us that Thomas, the self-styled "Princess of Porn," has completed her final sex scene in what will be her final adult film, Into the Sunset. (We suspect the title is a pun.) "Into the Sunset marks the end of quite an amazing career for this renowned adult superstar," the news release stated. Amazing indeed: The 36-year-old Sunset has starred in more than 100 porn movies going back to the early '90s, including such classics as Red Beaver Bonanza, Lesbians in Tight Shorts, Muffy the Vampire Layer and, most recently, Misty Beethoven, the first porno musical.
• Tags: Editorial, Upfront