Posted inCulture

Notes from the Oscars: Parsing Hollywood’s annual salute to itself

All Jack(man)ed Up
As someone who is averse to People magazine and
most other forms of 21st Century celebrity worship, I can honestly say
that I switched on my TV without any clue as to who would be hosting
Sunday night's Academy Awards. I know that I wasn't alone when I
breathed a small sigh of relief realizing that it was Hugh Jackman on
emcee duties. It's not that I'm a big Wolverine fan. But like many
other Americans, I'm still recovering from Whoopi Goldberg. Just out of
curiosity I checked to see how many times the Academy inflicted Whoopi
upon viewers like me. Surprisingly few, in fact. Whoopi hosted just
four times, but the punishment was spread out over nine years between
1993 and 2001. And I think that's what made it so difficult - the not
knowing. Pouring through the stats we determined that Billy Crystal was
the King of the Post-Reagan Era with seven hosting credits to his name.
But nobody can hold a candle to Bob Hope who hosted or co-hosted a
record 17 times between 1938 and 1977.
Jackman did a solid job
showing off his song and dance skills in some Old Timey choreographed
show tune sequences. But the Academy was clearly shooting for a
controversy-free host when it tapped one of its own to emcee. And
missing were the snappy one-liners and industry jabs provided by Jon
Stewart who hosted two of the past three Oscars.

Posted inMusic

CD Review – Andrew Bird: Noble Beast

Andrew Bird
Noble Beast
Fat Possum Records
John Lennon once likened styles of rock and roll to different types
of chairs. He wanted his music to be basic, solid wood. To use Lennon's
analogy, Andrew Bird's new album, Noble Beast, is a deceivingly
comfortable chair covered in a polka dotted sheet. If you lift up the
edge of the sheet, you realize that you're sitting in a decadent yet
delicately patterned creation that isn't a chair at all. You don't
quite know what it is.

Bird, whose last record, 2007's Armchair
Apocrypha, earned him a spot on several top ten lists, is a musician
before he is a rock and roller. Categorically, he's in the same realm
as Sufjan Stevens, Loney Dear (who helps on this album), and Elbow:
intella-rock, or perhaps geek rock. He sings in palindromes and
alliteration about human behavior and environmental apocalypses. Bird
backs his clear alto voice with his violin and other instrumentation,
as well as an orchestra of talent that includes the likes of bass
master Todd Sickafoose and Kelly Hogan, who has collaborated with the
likes of Neko Case.

Posted inCulture

Nature’s Face Blanket: Why we love our winter beards

Winter beards, and beards in general, have become increasingly acceptable in the past couple years. Gone are assumptions that the bearded man is homeless, a

Winter beards, and beards in general, have become increasingly acceptable in the past couple years. Gone are assumptions that the bearded man is homeless, a logger, a homeless logger, a 19th century sailor, an iconic Christmas figure, a sexual predator, or, God forbid, a hippie. It's come to the point that a man can have a beard and a job. In fact, some 71 percent of the Source's male staffers and contributors are currently bearded.

Upfront columnist Mick McMenaminuses sports a trimmed black number that features largely clean cheeks, resident beer specialist Ric E. James is currently sporting a "rebirth beard" (a beard that is grown immediately following the shaving of the previous facial hair installment), while I myself have an increasingly unruly face full of hair that currently smells like Cheetos. Yes, I had Cheetos with my lunch today.

Posted inCulture

Any Way You Slice It

How to kill a ninja:
You can always kill a ninja with a flurry of indiscriminate sword-swings. But ninjas are resilient little suckers-almost as durable as you are. It can take a lot of sword-swings, which just isn't practical when you're facing a whole pack. If you really want to put a ninja to rest quickly and efficiently, you'll want to bisect them.

Posted inCulture

Jason No-Die! – Friday the Umpteenth adds nothing new to formulaic concept

Ahoy there!The same team responsible for the remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre is
back again with less fervor and a rote take on an already tired genre.
With the newest Friday the 13th nothing has changed to reinvigorate the
worn-out formula. Jason, it seems, has been resurrected for the sole
purpose of raking in box office revenue. (Which he did, by the way to
the tune of $24 million over opening weekend - tops at the box office)
What the film sorely lacks is something dastardly different. Slasher
flicks depend on originality because we've seen it all before.

While
I found it sacrilege to remake TCM, Friday the 13th sinks to new
depths.The original film added suspense to the grisly killings with a
secret killer whose identity was revealed at the end. Only in
serialized sequels does the saga of hockey-masked Jason Voorhees
commence. Here in redux land we get a mini intro explaining the
decapitation death of Jason's mom and his subsequent rampage. The first
part of the movie is strong, reminiscent of 2002's Cabin Fever.
Marginally interesting characters actually seem like they're
interacting, and the inevitable demise of the oversexed, weed smoking
campers is hilarious, frightening and, true to any early slasher flick,
ripe with abundant sex, gore and nudity.

Posted inCulture

Money Walks: Run Lola Run director misfires with bloated bank thriller

Owen and Watts make a lonely run on the bank. I have never been to the Guggenheim Museum in New York City, but I
imagine the trip would be a heckuva lot more fascinating with non-stop
Uzi fire and fountains of spurting blood. That is one thing The
International understands pretty well. Unfortunately, it doesn't have a
firm grasp on much else.

Tom Twyker, the German-born director of
1998's cult hit Run Lola Run, helms The International with the
intention of producing a film that is equal parts James Bond and
political thought piece. The problem with trying to straddle two very
different worlds is that you usually end up with a cramp in your groin
and fall flat on your face. That's sort of what happens here.

Posted inCulture

Another Dimension: Coraline takes the animated movie to another level

Give a hand to 3-d animation.After My Bloody Valentine, I was convinced that every movie should be
in 3D. Now that I've seen Coraline I'm not so sure. It's already so
cool to look at with its ingenious concepts and artistic designs, so I
say why bother? This movie is a psychedelic treat to the eyes and more
colorful than anything I can remember. Using stop-motion animation,
puppeteers moved models 32 times for every second we see, so this movie
took about five years to make. The 3D, as effective as it was, almost
distracted from the already flawless animation.

Cute and
warped-that's Coraline in a nutshell. This movie sends mixed messages
and creates a metaphor that reinforces the age-old belief pounded into
the heads of children that being good will bring you the things you
want. But given the twisted approach, Coraline might just be too creepy
for kids. Moms and dads will have a lot of explaining to do if they
bring the kids. It's definitely dark and there are some real blatant
sexual themes, including cartoonish fat old English biddies showing off
their scantily clad, enormous hooters. But in addition, moms themselves
are depicted in two ways: completely evil or incompetent.

Posted inCulture

Labor Pains: Push is purely work for moviegoers

We told you Dakota Fanning’s cute days were limited.During the closing credits for Push, a sci-fi lark with an incoherent plot, boring action sequences and

We told you Dakota Fanning's cute days were limited.During the closing credits for Push, a sci-fi lark with an incoherent plot, boring action sequences and listless dialogue, I felt like I was being given a list of people to blame. Though I know they cannot all be held responsible for this movie's failures, the smart ones would have picked a pseudonym.

Push is a little like reading an Encyclopedia Brown book, except the ending pages have been ripped out and most of the mystery's clues are covered in graffiti and fecal stains. The movie stars Chris Evans (the fiery dude from Fantastic Four) and Dakota Fanning as Nick and Cassie, young superheroes blessed with, respectively, telekinetic and clairvoyant superpowers. These powers make them targets for government capture and control by a badass agent and "pusher", played by Djimon Hounsou, virtually the only adult in the film. Luckily, Nick and Cassie are not alone. An entire race of humans with these rare abilities walks the earth. Think X-Men without the sideburns.

Posted inFood & Drink

Cocktailing: The Victory Shot

There are a few givens that can lead a man to drinking: divorce, death of a loved one, and the use of a voice-activated phone

There are a few givens that can lead a man to drinking: divorce, death of a loved one, and the use of a voice-activated phone menu system. Even the most tolerant will find themselves throwing the phone across the room after they have had to repeat “check account” sixteen times to hear the same voice repeat again and again, “I’m sorry. I didn’t get that.” Succumbing to screaming, “No kidding you didn’t get that. You are a goddamn voice without a brain – so how could you possibly GET THAT?” You walk to the bar because nothing cures a broken soul like a cocktail.

Sitting on your barstool feeling slightly ashamed that you are the only person in the bar mid-afternoon, you start to wonder whose idiotic idea it was to have you clearly shout your account number and password repetitively into the phone. What was wrong with pushing the buttons? Obviously there is a lobby by Identity Thieves of America to keep up this practice, as there is no doubt they are all over Washington doling out gifts and promising senators favors to keep this system alive.

Posted inFood & Drink

Cocktailing: The Victory Shot

There are a few givens that can lead a man to drinking: divorce, death of a loved one, and the use of a voice-activated phone

There are a few givens that can lead a man to drinking: divorce, death of a loved one, and the use of a voice-activated phone menu system. Even the most tolerant will find themselves throwing the phone across the room after they have had to repeat "check account" sixteen times to hear the same voice repeat again and again, "I'm sorry. I didn't get that." Succumbing to screaming, "No kidding you didn't get that. You are a goddamn voice without a brain - so how could you possibly GET THAT?" You walk to the bar because nothing cures a broken soul like a cocktail.

Sitting on your barstool feeling slightly ashamed that you are the only person in the bar mid-afternoon, you start to wonder whose idiotic idea it was to have you clearly shout your account number and password repetitively into the phone. What was wrong with pushing the buttons? Obviously there is a lobby by Identity Thieves of America to keep up this practice, as there is no doubt they are all over Washington doling out gifts and promising senators favors to keep this system alive.

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