Rob Brezsny

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Who would have guessed that elephants can play the drums really well? On a trip to Thailand, Scorpio musician Dave Soldier discovered that if given sticks and drums, some elephants kept a steadier beat than humans. A few were so talented that Soldier recorded their rhythms and played them for a […]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In my horoscopes for Scorpios, I tend to write complex messages. My ideas are especially thick and rich and lush. Why? Because I imagine you as being complex, thick, rich, and lush. Your destiny is labyrinthine and mysterious and intriguing, and I aspire to reflect its intricate, tricky beauty. But this […]

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Scorpio author Ófeigur Sigurðsson writes, “You should never do what’s expected of you; there’s always another path through life than the one before you.” I wouldn’t recommend his approach to any other zodiac sign but Scorpio. And I would only advocate it for maybe 40 percent of Scorpios 10 percent of […]

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I’m not enamored of Shakespeare’s work. Though I enjoy his creative use of language, his worldview isn’t appealing or interesting. The people in his stories don’t resonate with me, and their problems don’t feel realistic. If I want to commune with multi-faceted characters dealing with fascinating dilemmas, I turn to French […]

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Libran philosopher and writer Michel Foucalt aspired to open up his readers’ minds with novel ideas. He said his task was to make windows where there had been walls. I’d like to borrow his approach for your use in the coming weeks. It might be the most fun to demolish the […]

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Take a few deep, slow breaths. Let your mind be a blue sky where a few high clouds float. Hum your favorite melody. Relax as if you have all the time in the world to be whoever you want to be. Fantasize that you have slipped into a phase of your […]

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If you have ever contemplated launching a career as a spy, the coming months will be a favorable time to do so. Likewise if you have considered getting trained as a detective, investigative journalist, scientific researcher, or private eye. Your affinity for getting to the bottom of the truth will be […]

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “These are the bad facts,” says author Fran Lebowitz. “Men have much easier lives than women. Men have the advantage. So do white people. So do rich people. So do beautiful people.” Do you agree, Virgo? I do. I’m not rich or beautiful, but I’m a white man, and I have […]

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The Virgo writer Caskie Stinnett lived on Hamloaf, a small island off the coast of Maine. He exulted in the fact that it looked “the same as it did a thousand years ago.” Many of the stories he published in newspapers featured this cherished home ground. But he also wandered all […]

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In honor of the Virgo birthday season, I invite you to be exceptionally distinctive and singular in the coming weeks, even idiosyncratic and downright incomparable. That’s not always a comfortable state for you Virgos to inhabit, but right now it’s healthy to experiment with. Here’s counsel from writer Christopher Morley: “Read, […]