The author is gathering lawyers, guns and money for the launch of this new column.
Ten weeks from mid-term elections, when Republicans will supposedly sweep dozens of seats and maybe take back the House (according to pundits who get paid to enrage the public with unfounded rumors), the time has come to tally the damage done by this period of “hope.”
Source Weekly
Little Bites: Street Smarts: Because you can never have too much street food
It started with Spork… or was it Sancho and Soupcon? We're not sure whom to credit for the local gourmet-ification of food carts, but whoever it was, they started a revolution. Lately, downtown (and some eastside spots) have seen gourmet food carts popping up like weeds. While they may not be open all the time (and some are often closed during stated hours), the quality and prices can't be beat. Here's a roundup of the most recent additions to Bend's stand-and-eatery scene.
A Straight Up Shooter: Dog Days holds few genuine surprises
Kane and Lynch are two bickering hit men who can’t seem to get along without one another. Dog Days, their second videogame shooter together, finds them squabbling their way through the byways of Shanghai, with the camera tagging along behind Lynch with the handheld shakiness beloved by cinema verité and episodes of C.O.P.S.. The image, which is continually grainy and spotted with light reflections, often pixelates and glitches like a cheap digital camera undergoing gunfire, which is presumably the effect that the game’s designers were going for.
Don Hoxie – Can't Get There From Here
Longtime local rocker and one-time Ranch Records employee Don Hoxie is so clear on his album opener, “Welcome,” that he's not impressed by the lack of skill and hard work demonstrated on current records. I agree, music seems too easy to record and sell. Problem is, few artists with strong musical chops make memorable albums. Yes, Joe Satriani might wail on gee-tar… but his albums blow. Just because you can play guitar doesn't necessarily give you the green light to record.
24 is Back! Ka-BOOOM!
[Dudes! I'm on vacation! So enjoy this only moderately moldy I Love Televisionโข repeat column, with adorable old-timey pop culture references left intact! – Humpy]”THIS WEEK! Super agent Jack Bauer returns in another exciting, pants-wetting, testicle-dropping, liposuction-ing season of the Fox hit series 24! DO… NOT… MISS… IT!!” Okay, how did I do? See, I'm really sick of scribbling TV columns, so I'm applying for a promo writing job at Fox. Why? Because I'm AWWWWWWESOMMMME! And I've learned you can sell anything to anybody if you just scream and use a lot of capital letters and EXTEEEEEEEEND ALLLLLL YOURRRRR WORRRRRRDS!!!
Oh the Sweet Stank of Success! On the road with Abe Jones Septic Service
“A straight flush always beats a full house” reads the business card of Abe Jones Septic Service, owned by Mark and Gayle Johnson for the last 20 years. Employing seven, including Mark's son Tim and son-in-law Matt Finnestad, this family's business is all we would rather flush and forget.
Mark is actually the third Abe Jones, as explained by Matt: “Abe is fictitious. Sherman Jones was the original, and Mark thinks he picked Abe to be first in the phone book.” Though Mark doesn't advertise, Abe Jones Septic Service is well known, with most business coming from word-of-mouth. They work as far as Summit Lake and all the way south of China Hat. Where there's a mess, Abe Jones Septic is available.
What's Your Cinderella Pint? Let our Brewfest bracketology be your drinking guide
Editor's Note: This Friday and Saturday beer drinkers from around Central Oregon and beyond will file into the Les Schwab amphitheater for the chance to sample craft beers from around Oregon and the Western United States as part of the 2010 Bend Brewfest. If you like beer, and we know that you do, this is simply The Place To Be this weekend as the hop-ified liquid goodness flows from the taps. In recognition of this great gathering of fermented malts, we're offering a different kind of guide to the event. In a nod to March Madness, we've developed our own bracketology methodology for you to rate and compare the two dozen breweries on hand. The match-ups are beyond arbitrary (they're in alphabetical order). So drink up and have fun filling out your brackets. We're all winners when beer is the game.
Ride of Your Life: Mountain Bike Oregon is a two-wheeled “Woodstock”
Would anyone pay close to $300 dollars to spend three nights camping at a highway rest area?Twice a summer, for the last four years, more than 300 people from all over the country and as far away as Australia do just that; many of them consider it a bargain. They come for one reason: Mountain Bike Oregon(MBO), a three day festival in Oakridge featuring some of the best singletrack mountain biking in the nation.
“There are miles of amazing single track. It's right up there with places like Moab, Crested Butte and Park City,” says Abbey Hippely of Santa Cruz Bicycles. Riders and industry reps agree – Oakridge has quietly developed a reputation as a premier mountain biking destination.
Our Picks for 8/18 – 8/26: Sunriver Music Festival, Bend Brew Fest, Budofights, Ink & Metal, Mat Kearney and more
Sunriver Music Festival
thursday 19 – saturday 21
Now in it's 33rd season, the Sunriver Music Festival still presents quality classical music in a phenomenal setting. This is the second year the festival conducted concerts in Bend, but this weekend all of the concerts take place at the historic Great Hall at Sunriver Resort. Thursday features Chinese pianist Di Wu; Friday and Saturday bring Classical Concerts III and IV, and the Saturday concert features an all-Beethoven program. 7:30pm all three nights. $30-$60, 18 and under $10. Great Hall at Sunriver Resort, 1 Center Dr, Sunriver.
The Northstar Session In-Store โจPerformance
friday 20
Los Angeles-based band The Northstar Session plays rootsy folk-rock with a neo-country feel, so all in all it's something everyone can groove to. The band has garnered comparisons to Wilco, The Black Crowes, The Wallflowers and others, playing vintage rock and roll. The band recently released a new EP, Winter Collection. Northstar plays a 21 and over show at Silver Moon later in the night, but for the U-21 crowd they'll rock out at Ranch Records. Free, 5pm. Ranch Records, 831 NW Wall St. $5, 9pm. Silver Moon Brewing Co, 24 NW Greenwood Ave.
Crusades, Congressionals and Juggalos: Our mosque problem, farewell to Uncle Ted and Tila Tequila vs. Insane Clown Possee
The author is enjoying the majesty of Tumalo Creek and its fabulous waterfalls, reading about the $71 million water/hydro/death-laser project being “proposed” by the city.
Our Christian NationRemember when you went to Pearl Harbor and saw the shrine honoring the Kamikaze pilots of Japan who destroyed our entire fleet in World War II? Me neither.

