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Posted inCulture

Terrorists? Prepare to get Terrorized!

Adult Swim has a new show debuting called NTSF: SD: SUV
Source Weekly

Okay, first of all, I just want everybody to know that I'm still not mad that Seal Team 6 got to Osama bin Laden before I did. That happened nearly three months ago, and I'm totally over it… not that I was mad about it in the first place. Oh sure, I did have a super-cunning plan to take down bin Laden – one I'd been working on night and day for the past four years, which was far more clever than a bunch of bros kicking down a door and dogpiling on top of him – but, hey… whatever works, right? The important thing is that Osama bin Laden is out of our hair, and it makes no difference whatsoever whether it was a group of frat boys with a plan as subtle as a sledgehammer pounding a package of cheese 'n' crackers, or my infinitely more amazing scheme that was so detailed and profoundly artful, it would've made Al Qaeda stand up and give me the 1980s movie cafeteria “slow clap.”

Posted inOutside

Cut to the Chase: Lift-served mountain biking, hiking and disc golfing with a view at Willamette Pass

Source Weekly

For mountain bikers who hate to ride uphill, Willamette Pass is a must-ride. Late in June, after the snow has melted from the mountain, the small ski resort off of Hwy. 58 near Oakridge converts its six-person chair to a gondola for mountain bikers, hikers, disc golfers and sightseers. The ski slopes give way to some intense singletrack riding with some killer Cascade mountain views, including those of nearby 8,678-foot Diamond Peak. “It's a little slice of heaven,” says mountain biker Jeremy Fritts.
With a 360-degree view from the summit and an 18-hole disc golf course that winds down the mountain, it is also worth a stop for non-riders. Located an hour and a half from Bend, Willamette Pass is one of only two mountains in Oregon that offers lift-serviced mountain biking, the other is Ski Bowl at Mt. Hood. While the resort restricts its mountain bike lift operations to the weekend, it's still relatively crowd free.
But mountain bikers should take note: Willamette Pass is not for the faint of heart. While there are some relatively tame trails, the riding is geared more toward downhill-style biking.

Posted inCulture

Harrius Pottumus Disappearius!

Harry Potter is coming to theaters.
Source Weekly

OH, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS BULL-PLOP! So as you probably know, there's this super popular kiddie movie opening this week called Harry Potter and the Howling Herpes of Hogwarts or some crap like that. What-EVER, right? I'll be spending my ten dollars on something based in REALITY – most likely booze, booze, or a quickly negotiated handjob administered in the alley behind the establishment where I purchased the booze.

Posted inOpinion

Greg Walden and the Other Dim Bulbs

The newest ones to be given the boot!
Source Weekly

We swore we were going to resist the temptation to write any light bulb jokes about this topic, but we just couldn't stop ourselves. So here goes:
Q. How many votes does it take to screw the American consumer?
A. Fifty-two more than the Republicans had this week.
On Tuesday, the House defeated the Better Use of Light Bulbs Act – BULB, get it? – the Republican Party's latest offensive in its War on the 21st Century. The BULB Act would have repealed the part of a 2007 law that imposes more stringent energy efficiency standards for light bulbs.

Posted inNews

Keeping it Reel: BendFilm charts a new course in post-boom Bend

BendFilm takes a new course.
Source Weekly

The new office of BendFilm, in Northwest Crossing, is brightly lit by natural sunshine, bouncing off tall, clean, white walls. Orit Schwartz, the artistic director, single employee and day-to-day coordinator of the October film festival, keeps the room sparse. There’s no fancy furniture, no expensive art. Just two desks, a few chairs, a small conference table and movies – lots of movies. They fill boxes on the floor, the table, and shelves that line the wall.
Streamlined space, focus on the movies: it’s a metaphor for BendFilm, which is attempting to move past a period of internal turmoil, financial difficulties and personality conflicts that have at times cast doubt on the festival's future, according to past board members, volunteers and others associated with BendFilm.

Posted inOpinion

This Straight Poop Compiled Without Hacking: We Guarantee It

poop, Rupert Murdoch
Source Weekly

Monday, July 4
Happy Birthday, America: Millions celebrate 235th anniversary of American independence with parades, fireworks, and large amounts of barbecued food and beer … Joey “Jaws” Chestnut wins Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest fifth time in row, scarfing 62 dogs … Lotsa luck, Americans: Obama administration ready to offer tens of billions in Medicare and Medicaid cuts to get deal with Republicans on debt ceiling … Fighting back: Lawyers for Dominique Strauss-Kahn plan slander suit against woman who accuses him of sexual assault in 2002 … Long arm of the law: Jack Daniels McCullough, 71, of Seattle charged with murder of 7-year-old girl in Illinois in 1957 after discovery of unused train ticket demolishes his alibi … End of the line: Archduke Otto van Hapsburg, last heir to the once-mighty Hapsburg Empire, dies in Germany, age 98.

Posted inOpinion

A Failed Experiment: What a Georgia's short-sighted politicians can teach us about immigration

After passing House Bill 87, Georgia farmers are seeing the effects first hand.
Source Weekly

Three months ago, Georgia Republicans proudly passed House Bill 87, an Arizona-style anti-immigrant bill that, among other things, requires employers to use E-Verify to confirm the legal status of their employees.
Today, Georgia farmers (most of whom voted for those Republicans) are leaving hundreds of millions of dollars of crops rotting in the fields, unable to find the manpower to do the grueling work of harvesting in 100-plus-degree weather. Republican Gov. Nathan Deal has even pushed unemployed criminal probationers out into the fields to little effect: The work is just too difficult.
“Those guys out here weren’t out there 30 minutes and they got the bucket and just threw them in the air and say, ‘Bonk this, I ain’t with this, I can’t do this,” one probationer told The Washington Post. Early reports suggest that just half of probationers even bothered showing up a second day. Farmers aren’t happy either. “The plan to put probationers on farms ain’t gonna work,” a farmer told the Gainesville Times. “I want to be a farmer; I don’t want to be a warden.” Even under the best-case scenario, the 2,000 unemployed probationers in south Georgia are just a fraction of the (at least) 11,000 farmhands who have disappeared from Georgia fields, according to the state’s agriculture commissioner.

Posted inOpinion

The Legislature Bridges the Great Divide

The Oregon Legislature finally makes some achievements with a redistricting plan, and education reforms.
Source Weekly

Maybe Oregon should pass a constitutional amendment requiring the state legislature to be evenly split between Democrats and Republicans. Judging by what the legislature achieved during its last session in spite of its partisan division, we could do a lot worse.
One of the legislature's biggest achievements, which we honored with a GLASS SLIPPER three weeks ago, was passing a redistricting plan – something it hadn't previously managed to do for 30 years. But it racked up a number of other significant accomplishments. Among other things, the legislature:

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