Don't get me wrong – I like sports. I just don't like the sports everyone else seems so crazy about. I don't like basketball (AKA the “sport of fools”), but I do like office chair bowling (where you hide in the corner of your office, and when someone walks in, you sling your roll-y chair at them as fast as you can in an attempt to knock them off their feet – extra points if you crack their femur!). I also don't like football (AKA the “sport of meatheads”) but I do like genital Xeroxing. Now some people claim that genital Xeroxing is not a sport – but those people have never coerced their officemates into seeing how many genitals can be Xeroxed in 30 seconds (our office record is 27 – TOP THAT, MICROSOFT!).
Source Weekly
Posted inCulture
Our Picks for 11/17-11/25: GWAR! Talib Kweli, and much more!
11th Annual Powder Hound
wednesday 17
The yearly photography and filmmaking show returns to the Tower this year to display shots of your neighbors having fun in the snow. There are also plenty of giveaways to be had, including $2,500 worth of raffle items from Pine Mountain Sports and other free schwag. $12/adv at Pine Mt. Sports, $14/door. 7pm. Tower Theatre, 835 NW Wall St.
Posted inOpinion
The Silly No-Sitting-On-the-Sidewalk Law
“The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets and to steal bread,” the novelist Anatole France wrote in 1894.
The law the City of Bend is contemplating to deal with the (supposed) problem of loitering on downtown streets would, we assume, forbid the rich as well as the poor to sit or lie down on the sidewalks. Just the same, it would be an inherently inequitable ordinance – and an unnecessary one.
Posted inOpinion
This Weeks Number
8
That's the number of votes that separates City Council candidates Chuck Arnold and Scott Ramsay as they head into a state-mandated recount.
Posted inOpinion
Dirty Dancing, More Loko, A Population Push and Persistent Poachers
Dirty Dancing Too Much For Portland Teachers
Students were getting a little too close for comfort at a Portland High School, causing teachers to cancel the school's winter formal. Cleveland High School in Southeast Portland has cancelled the dance due to the new style of dance known as “grinding.” Obviously a little movie from 1987 known as Dirty Dancing hasn't been in the TBS heavy rotation lately.
Posted inOpinion
Don't Hate on Spam
As a fairly recent newcomer to Bend, I gratefully turn to the Source when seeking to dine out. Last week I read a mouth-watering re-cap of a review for the Bend Fish Co., “Hawaiian Grindz,” when I had cause to pause and ponder. What’s up with all the Spam bashing?
Posted inOpinion
There Is Another Way
Everywhere in Bend I meet people who sincerely believe that the only way to resolve the goose poop problem is through periodic exterminations.
Then I explain that non-lethal methods are more effective, sustainable, and cost effective and are currently being used successfully in dozens of locations in the U.S., Canada, and the U.K. At that point, the conversational tone starts to shift.
Posted inOpinion
Give Them The Debt
With the news this past week of how to fix the deficit and get the U.S. back in the black, I'm sure everyone is going to have some ideas of what they think will work best. So here's mine. Since we had a surplus 10 years ago before Bush, Cheney and Rove weaseled their way into power, perhaps their ill-gotten fortunes could be a start to paying down the debt.
Posted inOpinion
“Myths and Other Disguises”
The author is reporting from “ObamaCare” and hoping his doctor didn't drink the tea.
No more slanderous ads, robo-calls from famous people who would never give you their number. Shhh… Secret strategy sessions, appointments, impermanent power divvied in dark rooms. The post-midterm election hush has been unusually brief.
Posted inCulture
Welcome, New Tea Party Readers!
Hey Tea Partiers, come read my column. It’s about television.
As you may have noticed, we had an election last week! And while this particular election may not have turned out exactly as I would've liked, I've decided NOT to hurl myself face first into a rusty electric wood chipper. As my slightly insane and perpetually inebriated Aunt Wanda used to say, “When the world hands you lemons, make half a glass of lemonade – then fill the rest up with vodka. Drink it, take off your bra, swing it around your head, and scream at the world, 'Fawk YOU, world, and fawk your fawking lemons! Check out these tits!'”