With so many children’s apps and video content available, it’s hard to know the limits. Are there guidelines for how much screentime my elementary-aged child should have every day?
While there aren’t any federal guidelines for screentime, The American Academy of Pediatrics does recommend that elementary-aged children have no more than two hours of screentime per day. This includes television, gaming or electronic devices. The key is balance. We want children to find their entertainment beyond just the screen.
Here are some ideas to help get kids off the screen and learning through play:
Whether playing with other kids in the neighborhood, going to a park or drawing with chalk on the sidewalk, outdoor play is a great way to connect with nature and the community. Children tend to use their imaginations when they play outside, and exercise is always a bonus.
Activities like building with blocks, drawing, crafts or pretend play help foster creativity and problem-solving skills. Kids naturally enjoy building and creating, but may not initiate this activity if they’re exposed to screens all the time.
I should have been watching her closer, but recently, my child stumbled upon an inappropriate image online. What should I do if this happens again?
This is tough and almost always catches parents off guard. Although every situation is different, your reaction should depend on the maturity level of your child. Our children need to know we are on their side.
Here are some basic tips for handling things with grace:
You will probably have a reaction, potentially a strong one, but if you can be calm and grounded, your child could be willing to share more with you. Let them know it’s okay to talk about what they saw, and that their feelings are safe with you.
Depending on how you initially reacted, your child might be afraid of the potential consequences and may shut down and not want to talk. If your child stumbled upon the images by accident, you want to let them know that you understand and that you are there to help and protect them.
Provide age-appropriate explanations about what they saw and clarify any misinformation. This is also a good time to discuss why certain websites, images and videos are not appropriate.
For many adults, it may be hard to find the right words. If you didn’t have these types of conversations with your own parents, it may be difficult to get started. You can say, “You know, no one talked to me about this kind of stuff when I was your age, but it is important! So, I am glad we can have this talk.”
Our 10-year-old son keeps pestering us because he wants a smartphone. His reasoning comes from the fact that all his friends have one. When is the appropriate time to buy your child a smartphone?
This is THE question, right? First, it’s important to understand what you are giving your child. You’d be surprised at the number of parents that don’t really stop to think about the dangers associated with giving a child a device that can connect them to anyone or any website in the world. The answer? It depends.
Here are some questions to address before adding them to your plan:
Ask your child how they anticipate using the device. Is it for texting or using specific apps to connect with their friends? Is it for gaming? Is it to access social media?
Make sure they understand that a smartphone is more than a phone – it’s a computer with access to the internet. Talk about the responsibilities and potential risks that come with it. If they’re not ready for that burden, explore other options like a basic phone or a family-shared tablet or computer.
If you’re leaning toward giving them a smartphone, talk about your family’s guidelines. For example, many families make their child turn over the phone at bedtime. Be upfront about what apps are OK to download and how much time they’re allowed to spend on the phone. Clear up any disagreements BEFORE you buy them the phone.
Is it okay to take away the smartphone as a form of punishment? I’ve heard different opinions about this.
Taking a device away might seem like an appropriate punishment, but you want to make sure you understand the context of the situation along with how younger generations use devices today.
If the issue involves inappropriate use of the device – such as breaking family rules or accessing unsafe content – then restricting access might be a natural consequence. If your child was causing drama online, a conversation about kindness and respect might be more effective than taking away their device. As a rule, avoid any knee-jerk reactions and remain calm.
For younger generations, devices are not just for entertainment – they’re the primary way they connect with friends and build relationships. As hard as this may be to digest, removing this access to friends can have a detrimental effect on their social development. Instead of cutting them off cold turkey, you might temporarily limit certain functions (like gaming or social media) while still allowing them to communicate with friends.
If you establish age-appropriate rules for device use, such as time limits, app restrictions and clear expectations for behavior, this helps your child understand how to enjoy their device safely. They will take pride in successfully navigating this new responsibility.
If these questions sparked a desire to learn more about internet safety, KIDS Center provides trainings in Bend and online throughout the year. Join us for the next training: April 15, 2025, 5:30 – 7:30 pm on ZOOM. Register online: kidscenter.org/get-trained
This article appears in BendNest Spring 2025.
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