Having already exploited most of the good jokes inherent in a robotic space universe, the Ratchet & Clank franchise was forced to exploit all the bad jokes for A Crack in Time. That's a shame. I wanted to laugh more. But A Crack in Time seems much more concerned with dramatizing the series' storyline and unfolding the history of Ratchet & Clank's roles in a universe that – more than ever – seems so fake as to be beyond cartoonish.
Every object in the game looks lit from within, like a backlit beer advertisement – the kind with animated waterfalls. The colors are so intense it's as though a giant bag of Skittles had been torn open, eaten and then another bag torn open and spilled onscreen, scattering lemon, lime, blueberry and cherry colors under the influence of a mounting sugar rush. Even the game's obligatory dirt-colored junkyard level looks as though it were made out of caramel and nougat.
Culture
Our Picks for 12/23 – 12/31: Adam Schell Reading, Holiday String Band, New Year’s Eve Music and more
Adam Schell Author Reading
wednesday 23
We got a book called Tomato Rhapsody: A Fable of Love, Lust, and Forbidden Fruit in the mail a few months ago and that wasn't unique in and of itself because we get a lot of books in the mail. But what did catch our often-wandering attention was the attached bio for author Adam Schell. He'd played some linebacker at Northwestern, taught yoga in Hollywood and now spent time writing a book set in the Tuscan countryside. Now he's moved to Bend and has dropped by the Source offices. We've learned that he's a terribly nice guy with plenty of stories to tell, so go hear a story when he reads from Tomato Rhapsody and signs the book. 7:30pm Wednesday, Dec 23. Jackson's Corner, 845 NW Delaware Ave.
Skate Or Die: Catch a RIDE with Tony Hawk
I'm writing this in a sweat – the cool kind of sweatthat comes from several hours of physical activity in the rancid heat of southern California's L.A. River – which despite its name is really a meandering aqueduct of ridges, ditches, basins and bowls. It'san ideal environment for skateboarding, and Tony Hawk RIDE uses it as an early racetrack. Like all the cities and skateparks in the game, it has its secrets and sweet spots. I've been skating through its tangle of asphalt for the past few hours trying to find the best route through the racetrack, and it's making me sweat.
The Beautiful Game: The Damned United takes us back to the days before Beckham
The Damned United is the well-told true story of the rapid rise and crashing fall of Brian Clough, English soccer manager, whose disastrous 44-day stint with top team Leeds United was mythologized by novelist David Peace in his 2006 book of the same title. For many, this one man's life may at first seem a rather small slice of 1970s history, but director Tom Hooper and actor Michael Sheen combine forces to present an expertly executed and involving tale of ambition, ego and self-destruction that has far-reaching appeal. This was a time before David Beckham, when footballers were idolized but a long way from becoming brands, when a player commanded a salary of only $500 a week.
Book Review: Nightlight by The Harvard Lampoon
Nightlight
By The Harvard Lampoon Vintage Books
Nightlight, The Harvard Lampoon's parody of the Twilight series, opens when Belle Goose first meets her dad at the airport when arriving in Switchblade, Oregon. She trips over a toddler, runs into a keychain rack, falls down the escalator and somersaults over her rolling luggage. “I get my lack of coordination from my dad, who always used to push me down when I was learning how to walk,” explains Belle.
This is just a sample of the ridiculousness the writers of one of the country's oldest humor magazines employ as they mock both the writing style and the plot twists of Stephanie Meyer's best-selling four-part saga.
A Neon Sign of the Times: Slopeside fashion and function collide at The Bend Ski Club
One of the reasons I started snowboarding was that the clothes were way cooler. Growing up skiing with my dad in the early '90s, I witnessed an embarrassing number of ski-related fashion mishaps. My father would routinely rock the acid-washed jeans/suspenders/neon jacket/cowboy hat combo. Since most of the other skiers on the slopes seemed to follow in his fashion footsteps, I came to terms with the fact that there was no hope for me. Especially when I was forced to wear one of those fleece hats with streaming tassels on top, which served no purpose other than to whip me in the face when I turned.
Skiers seem to embrace bad fashion. It's like there's some kind of magic in the neon and mirror sunglasses. While snowboarding clothes have evolved with the times, going from baggy hip-hop wear to more hipster-inspired duds, ski fashion has lagged behind. Skiers singlehandedly introduced the world to neon and they've been having a tough time letting it die.
Pucker Up: Disney's The Princess and The Frog brings hand-drawn animation back to life
There is a void in the world of children's film, a land cluttered with CGI squirrels, superheroes and flyaway houses that leaves today's kids missing something. That void comes from a lack of hand-drawn animated Disney musicals. Sure, most kids have seen The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast on DVD, if their parents were lucky enough to buy copies before they went back into the fabled Disney Vault, but it's not the same on the small screen. Now, a decade since their last dance with a princess comes the story of The Princess and the Frog.
Taking place in New Orleans, The Princess and the Frog features Disney's first African-American princess, Tiana, who has worked around the clock her whole life to open her own restaurant. After a small disaster at a masquerade ball, she dons a princess gown (tiara included) and while wishing on a star meets Prince Naveen in his mucus-y reptile form.
Our Picks for 12/16 – 12/24: The Shoemaker Brothers, Bill Keale, A Christmas Carol and more
RiffTrax Live: Christmas Shorts-Stravaganza
wednesday 16
Remember that show Mystery Science Theater 3000 where that dude and the two robots would sit through old movies for the mere purpose of mocking them? Yes, it was awesome. Well now the stars of that show are joined by parody master Weird Al Yankovic as they rip apart old-timey Christmas movies. This is the first of an intensely holiday-oriented Picks page, just so you know. 8pm Wednesday, Dec 16. Old Mill Stadium 16, 680 SW Powerhouse Dr.
Bill Keale, A Holiday Concert
friday 18
Quick, shout out the first word that comes to mind when we say, “Christmas.” Did you say, “Hawaiian music?” So did we! At this show, local island music master Bill Keale is joined by his brother Mike, along with Kim Breedlove, and Crystal Lum of the Hokulea Dancers to get you into the holiday mood – island style. 7pm. Old Stone Church, 157 NW Franklin Ave.
Get on the Duck Bus: Ride along with Duck fans to one of the biggest Civil War games ever
It's 9:38pm on Thursday, December 3 and I see fireworks, literally. I am sitting on a bus packed full of Ducks and a handful of Beavers destined for Bend. The woman in the seat ahead of me is drinking from a mini-bottle of champagne. Autzen Stadium is alive with celebration as the University of Oregon Ducks just defeated the Oregon State University Beavers 37-33 in the 113th Civil War game, thus punching a ticket to the Rose Bowl.
I must say upfront I have nothing against the Beavers. In fact, my father was an OSU grad and there is photographic evidence of me sitting on the Easter Bunny's lap sporting a Benny the Beaver shirt, circa 1989. That said, I am an Oregon grad and I spent four of my best years braving the student section and bleeding green and yellow.
Book Review: Chronic City By Jonathan Lethem
West Coasters might not be drawn to a novel that takes place exclusively on Manhattan, well actually a specific part of the island, but what if this Manhattan isn't the real Manhattan? That's essentially what Jonathan Lethem has done with Chronic City.
The book is strangely fantastical, taking place in Lethem's custom-crafted Manhattan – a city where an escaped tiger demolishes city blocks, the New York Times publishes a “War-Free” edition, snow falls in August and Marlon Brandon just might be alive. Chase Insteadman, a child actor turned B-list celebrity, serves as our narrator, leading us through his chance friendship with Perkus Tooth, a lazy-eyed former gonzo artist and rock critic who now spends his time battling cluster headaches, pontificating about old films and smoking marijuana… incredible amounts of marijuana.

