Culture

Just one of the dizzying moments in Cloverfield.After many months of prerelease hype and viral marketing, audiences are
finally getting a look at Cloverfield - a scary, very shaky
(physically, not technically) disaster movie whose effect is often
distressingly real. So real, that some folks I saw it with seemed ready
to vomit.
The premise is that a tape has been found in Central Park
after an unexplained disaster, and our task is to sit back and watch
it. It begins with playful couple Rob and Lily (Michael Stahl-David and
Jessica Lucas) as they speak to one another after a night of apparent
unabashed sexuality.

Welcome to CGI hell. Save yourself the pain, go rent Excalibur.Good lord. The Transporter goes medieval…kinda. This movie is such a pile of horse manure I hardly know where to start. I thought I could give it a semi-pass because kids would like it, but I think kids will feel ripped off. They're too smart for this junk, being exposed to the high-tech CGI world of Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. This film is based on a video game of the same name, but it's so defiantly low-budget it falls somewhere below a Robin Hood after-school TV special.

The nutshell description involves Farmer (Jason Statham), a simple man whose wife (Claire Forlani) is kidnapped by ravaging and pillaging "Krugs" (ultra-crummy Lord of the Rings monsters) and his quest to retrieve her. There's an evil Sorcerer, Gallian (Ray Liotta), who commands the army of Krugs, an aging king (Burt Reynolds) whose wisdom is beyond comparison, a wimpy-spoiled-brat heir to the throne (Matthew Lillard) with a traitorous agenda, a good sorcerer (John-Rhys Davies) who wants to make things right, and his daughter (Leelee Sobieski) who stares blankly at any and everything.

If you saw the preview for Marc Forster's (Monster's Ball) adaptation of The Kite Runner and thought the overblown voiceover and tacky gold title made the movie look like a bit of a chore to watch, you're not alone. Little about the preview looked appealing beyond the dark eyes of Khalid Abdalla, who stars as Amir, a writer living in the Bay Area in 2000. A phone call from an old family friend who speaks meaningfully of "a way to be good again" sends Amir home to Afghanistan, but not before Forster treats us to a lengthy, languid flashback that explains some of the caller's mysterious offer.

Pretty Woman II: Dirty DebutantesEarly in Charlie Wilson's War, a speaker intones that without Charlie Wilson, history "would be largely and sadly different." Whether history would be largely different without Wilson – a U.S. Congressman from Texas for 25 years – is debatable but probably accurate, but the reference to sadness caught my attention. Wilson, a buoyant rascal, elevated revelry to an art form, so whether history would have been gloomier without him is beyond a shadow of a doubt. What makes the story of Charlie Wilson's War so irresistible is how a scoundrel and hard-drinking womanizer like Wilson (Tom Hanks) stumbles into the crossroads of history and, once there, has the good sense to stand his ground. What makes Charlie Wilson's War one of the year's best films is how artfully the screenplay plays Wilson's weaknesses into strengths.

Bark at the MoonHere we go with another Japanese remake to accompany The Ring, The Grudge, Dark Water, and Pulse. The original versions have always achieved a creepy ghost story atmosphere, perhaps due to the fact that the Japanese have been telling these "possession" stories for centuries. Now, the tales have become a loose-cannon commodity, as spin-offs run rampant in Japan as well as in the U.S. The only thing the American versions have in common is their ability to botch a potentially cool idea. One Missed Call (a remake of the 2003 Japanese flick Chakushin Ari) is no exception. Although this idea is pretty damn far fetched, even by Japanese horror standards-ghosts in a cell phone? Yeah right, sure.

Among the best films of 2005 was The Squid and the Whale, a dark drama that happens to be wickedly funny. If it leans a little heavily on Wes Anderson (Rushmore), it at least gives fans of Anderson a director to lionize in Noah Baumbach. Produced by Anderson, with whom Baumbach wrote The Life Aquatic, The Squid and the Whale is the story of Baumbach's parents' divorce, a bitter breakup told from the children's point of view. From the perspective of two awkward, bemused teenage boys, the arrogance and stubbornness of their parents - rival writers - feels unexpectedly light and whimsical. The script earned Baumbach an Oscar nomination and a number of passionate supporters. Now his follow-up, Margot at the Wedding, arrives with little fanfare but great expectations.

The Judd Apatow comedy machine has been a most reliable laugh factory as of late. This year saw the one-two punch of Knocked Up (which he directed) and Superbad (which he produced). With the arrival of Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story starring the great John C. Reilly, I was figuring Apatow (producing here) would have a 2007 hat trick.
Not quite.
The film isn't a disaster by any means. It has a quick, funny start, followed by an intermittently hilarious middle. But the air goes out of the movie as it progresses, and it eventually goes flat. Too bad, because Reilly is an actor who deserves top billing, and he puts everything into the part.