Posted inFood & Drink

Cheeseburger in Paradise: A postcard from summer at Elk Lake Resort

With potential for the madcap hijinks of Meatballs (think Wet Hot American Summer if you were born too late for that reference), the nostalgic romance

With potential for the madcap hijinks of Meatballs (think Wet Hot American Summer if you were born too late for that reference), the nostalgic romance of Dirty Dancing and the serenity of On Golden Pond, Elk Lake provides the ultimate backdrop for the full lineup of classic cinematic summer fantasies. You can't help but imagine the Brady Bunch pulling up in a Winnebago or catching a glimpse of the twins from The Parent Trap scheming to get rid of dad's fiancée with a tentful of honey. Surrounded by a forest of giant ponderosa pines with snow-capped Mt. Bachelor looming to the east and the Three Sisters to the north, Elk Lake and the resort that bears its name is the very picture of Americana.

Posted inFood & Drink

Cocktailing: Slap Happy

There is never a void in cable television. You will find that be there ruinous fire, torrential flood, cataclysmic volcano, or category-five hurricane, you

There is never a void in cable television. You will find that be there ruinous fire, torrential flood, cataclysmic volcano, or category-five hurricane, you will still have access to 24-hour cable programming. Most of it tends to be awful as we have all watched at least an episode of something embarrassing, demoralizing and contemptible like The Swan where they found Michael Jackson’s plastic surgeon to turn 300-pound losers into cougar-ready material for Real Housewives of Orange County. Or My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé in which a schoolteacher pretended to marry a rude, loathsome, and slobby hippopotamus for a cash prize. Unfortunately, what I’ve just described is wretched and is aired at prime time, so you can only imagine what I watch when I finally have time to ignite the boob tube at 4 a.m. I flip between infomercials with Tattoo selling personal massagers, discount telephone psychics and Suzanne Sommers doing kegel exercises with what appears to be pool noodle. I flip through hundreds of channels in determination of finding something somewhat satisfying. While I hate to admit it, I always stop at the ShamWow guy.

Posted inFood & Drink

Goin’ Gourmet at the Bagel Stop: Bagels are just the beginning

Now, that’s a bagel. Whenever I’ve lived in a place for a while, the time inevitably comes when I feel like there’s

Now, that's a bagel.Whenever I've lived in a place for a while, the time inevitably
comes when I feel like there's a key food option that I'm missing. I have
plenty of favorites when it comes to restaurants, but for everyday, a quick
breakfast or take-out lunch that offers a restaurant level of satisfaction
without the usual cost or commitment of dining out, I suddenly find myself at a
loss for what to eat. Most normal people would fill this dietary gap by going
to the grocery store, purchasing selected items and combining them at home to
create a meal-you know, cooking. But for me, it's far preferable for someone
else to come up with what I didn't know I wanted, prepare it far better than I
ever could and spare me the pain and, ultimately, disappointment in my
inability to properly feed myself.

Enter the Bagel Stop. Less than a week after my first visit, I can
already tell that it is the antidote for that creeping indecision at mealtime.
Pretty much everything here appeals, and it goes way beyond just bagels.
Offerings range from breakfast sandwiches and baked goods to gourmet deli
sandwiches, soups and salads, as well as a full catering operation for anything
from picnics to weddings. Closing at 3 p.m. daily, there's no eat-in option for
dinner, but a rotating line-up of take-home meals is available. It's sold as
dinner for two at $22, but is probably enough for four. 

Posted inFood & Drink

Goin’ Gourmet at the Bagel Stop: Bagels are just the beginning

Now, that’s a bagel. Whenever I’ve lived in a place for a while, the time inevitably comes when I feel like there’s

Now, that’s a bagel.Whenever I’ve lived in a place for a while, the time inevitably
comes when I feel like there’s a key food option that I’m missing. I have
plenty of favorites when it comes to restaurants, but for everyday, a quick
breakfast or take-out lunch that offers a restaurant level of satisfaction
without the usual cost or commitment of dining out, I suddenly find myself at a
loss for what to eat. Most normal people would fill this dietary gap by going
to the grocery store, purchasing selected items and combining them at home to
create a meal-you know, cooking. But for me, it’s far preferable for someone
else to come up with what I didn’t know I wanted, prepare it far better than I
ever could and spare me the pain and, ultimately, disappointment in my
inability to properly feed myself.

Enter the Bagel Stop. Less than a week after my first visit, I can
already tell that it is the antidote for that creeping indecision at mealtime.
Pretty much everything here appeals, and it goes way beyond just bagels.
Offerings range from breakfast sandwiches and baked goods to gourmet deli
sandwiches, soups and salads, as well as a full catering operation for anything
from picnics to weddings. Closing at 3 p.m. daily, there’s no eat-in option for
dinner, but a rotating line-up of take-home meals is available. It’s sold as
dinner for two at $22, but is probably enough for four.

Posted inFood & Drink

It’s, Ya Know, For the Children: The Sagebrush Classic is decadent, but not depraved

Awe, Shucks. So, “decadent and depraved”-the words Hunter S. Thompson used to describe the Kentucky Derby in his landmark 1970 article-isn’t quite accurate, but the

Awe, Shucks. So, "decadent and depraved"-the words Hunter S. Thompson used to describe the Kentucky Derby in his landmark 1970 article-isn't quite accurate, but the Sagebrush Classic and the Derby have a few similarities. Like Derby festivities, Sagebrush also ostensibly surrounds a sporting event, in this case a golf competition at Broken Top featuring 52 foursomes. And just as the Derby draws crowds of well-heeled spectators sipping mint juleps, Sagebrush attendees get gussied up and sip on Bend's signature drink, handcrafted beer from the Deschutes Brewery. Granted, instead of seersucker suits and wide-brimmed hats, you're more likely to find maxi sundresses, polo shirts, jackass shorts and loafers with black socks, and here in Central Oregon we really guzzle rather than sip, but close enough.

What the folks in Louisville don't have that the landed gentry at Sagebrush do is a great cause to justify the decadence. In the past 21 years, the Sagebrush Classic has raised over $2 million for the Deschutes Children's Foundation. However, that said, the ensuing debauchery, albeit in the name of philanthropy, is certainly comparable to what goes on at Churchill Downs, especially in the infield. Give a crowd of over 1,000 people a '70s cover band, unlimited Mirror Pond and the excuse that they're doing it all for the children, and you've got yourself a party.

Posted inFood & Drink

It’s, Ya Know, For the Children: The Sagebrush Classic is decadent, but not depraved

Awe, Shucks. So, decadent and depraved-the words Hunter S. Thompson used to describe the Kentucky Derby in his landmark 1970 article-isn’t quite accurate, but the

Awe, Shucks. So, “decadent and depraved”-the words Hunter S. Thompson used to describe the Kentucky Derby in his landmark 1970 article-isn’t quite accurate, but the Sagebrush Classic and the Derby have a few similarities. Like Derby festivities, Sagebrush also ostensibly surrounds a sporting event, in this case a golf competition at Broken Top featuring 52 foursomes. And just as the Derby draws crowds of well-heeled spectators sipping mint juleps, Sagebrush attendees get gussied up and sip on Bend’s signature drink, handcrafted beer from the Deschutes Brewery. Granted, instead of seersucker suits and wide-brimmed hats, you’re more likely to find maxi sundresses, polo shirts, jackass shorts and loafers with black socks, and here in Central Oregon we really guzzle rather than sip, but close enough.

What the folks in Louisville don’t have that the landed gentry at Sagebrush do is a great cause to justify the decadence. In the past 21 years, the Sagebrush Classic has raised over $2 million for the Deschutes Children’s Foundation. However, that said, the ensuing debauchery, albeit in the name of philanthropy, is certainly comparable to what goes on at Churchill Downs, especially in the infield. Give a crowd of over 1,000 people a ’70s cover band, unlimited Mirror Pond and the excuse that they’re doing it all for the children, and you’ve got yourself a party.

Posted inFood & Drink

The Be Better Bloody Blues

I, along with many, have experienced the worst of the worst this allergy season. One day I was frolicking about, allowing the sun to make

I, along with many, have experienced the worst of the worst this allergy season. One day I was frolicking about, allowing the sun to make my golden tresses blonder, my pale skin bronzier, and my deranged spirit lighter. And then, mysteriously, I couldn’t breathe. There was no doubt that a little hit of Advil Cold & Sinus would allow me to smile while telling people about the soup de jour.
Sniffling my way through the pill aisle, I found my beloved tablet wasn’t there. Assuming they were out-of-stock, I immediately ordered online only to find they couldn’t be shipped to Oregon. Thanks to this state’s abundance of meth producers, my only chance of not blowing snot bubbles while setting down someone’s tenderloin was blown.
In my college days, ephedrine was on every gas station counter-the bright blue and red Mini Thin label screaming out to, “Eat me, I’m so much fun with a margarita.” Or, “Eat twelve of me and you could write two term papers, take a ten-mile run, and scrub all your floors with a toothbrush and still feel fresh.

Posted inFood & Drink

Over the River and Through the Woods: Kokanee Café brings fine dining down to earth

Head out to the river for Ocean finds like this at Kokanee Cafe.Until a recent visit to Kokanee Café, my exposure to executive chef Roscoe

Head out to the river for Ocean finds like this at Kokanee Cafe.Until a recent visit to Kokanee Café, my exposure to executive chef Roscoe Roberson was limited to his winning performance in this year's Top Chef competition at the Bite of Bend. With gutsy dishes like chilled watermelon-ginger and pork cheek medallion soup as well as a black chef's uniform, cowboy hat and swaggering personality to match, Roberson stole the show. At Kokanee, I expected flamboyance, a little city-goes-to-the-country juxtaposition of culinary flash against a tranquil backdrop. But as anyone who has been to Kokanee already knows, only half of that assessment is true. Yes, the spot is serene, the digs are rustic and the service friendly and unimposing, but what I tasted, while cosmopolitan in quality, was as quiet as the setting and completely without gimmick.

Housed in a wooden cottage with a stone chimney and screened-in porch just yards from the Metolius River and the Camp Sherman Store and Fly Shop, Kokanee blends in seamlessly with the giant ponderosa pines surrounding it and neighboring cabins that make up the Metolius River Resort. Only about 45 minutes from Bend, just north of Sisters, the settlement of Camp Sherman (permanent population 250) and the river that runs through it offer world-class fishing, hiking and camping, but it's worth the drive just for dinner at Kokanee. The menu, which changes every year, is largely Northwest cuisine focusing on fish and game and local ingredients.

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