Opinion

The author is reporting from an aircraft carrier where everyone is asking and telling, margaritas and hotpants now the rage.
“Bigger government, 2,000-page bills jammed through on Christmas Eve, wasteful spending… ” Happy Kwanzaa, America! Oh, wait, such things are suddenly bad, according to Senate Minority Leader Mitch “Turtle” McConnell.
Feelin' Grinchy? Don't dare touch McConnell's 36 total earmarks, like $4 million for marijuana eradication and $650,000 for DNA research at the University of Kentucky.

The author is reporting from a bunker, surrounded by brilliant gold.
The confusion over the past week is understandable, as President Obama suddenly emerged as a Reagan-right-winger. Even this column was proved utterly wrong; none could have guessed that our president was indeed a trickle-down-your-leg traitor.
Elected as a liberal until being declared a Socialist by Republicans whose version of traveling abroad is crossing the county line, Obama made a deal this week that shook more than heads. Costing $850 billion and confounding poor folks who hate the rich people who employ them, Obama's gamble to continue unemployment claims for millions included the outsized ante of more tax breaks for America's elite. Get this: 3 percent of all beneficiaries will receive 38 percent of the breaks in the present legislation. Sounds fair to me, if only I had a job or an estate.