Standing in a clearing at the dead-end of what are clearly the wrong Nordic ski tracks that I'd been following, I quietly curse the guy in the Maxwell Sno-Park parking lot who said, “The trails are really well marked.” I can't help but chuckle at the irony of getting lost (though I prefer off course) while on assignment for an article on snow shelter camping tips. Tip #1: bring a map or GPS and KNOW THE TRAILS. I knew I'd broken some of my rules for backcountry travel, rushed and ignored the clues that I was off course. But this wasn't really backcountry, it was marked Nordic and snowshoe trails near Hoodoo, just beyond the junction of the McKenzie Highway and Route 22.
Outside Features
Posted inOutside
Optical Delusions: I still can't see the trees on the court at Matthew Knight Arena
Dear University of Oregon, some of us don’t like to get seizures when we watch basketball.
Everything is OK. Just fine. Sit still, smile and, when appropriate, cheer when Oregon scores. Then repeat. We're going to get through this, brain. We've weathered far worse storms. Remember when we sat through that Two and a Half Men marathon with my parents? I promise we'll come out just fine, unlike Charlie Sheen. When we make it through this, I promise to treat you to a crossword puzzle every morning and discontinue my habit of drowning you in gin every Fourth of July.
If you've found yourself watching a televised University of Oregon basketball game played at Matthew Knight Arena, the above line of thinking may have raced across the teleprompter of your mind. If not, you're a genius. Congratulations. There's coffee in the lobby, go out there and congratulate yourself.
Posted inOutside
Defense is Boring: Why every NBA game should be played like the All-Star Game
One of these teams has to score 200 points at an NBA All-Star Game.
Kobe Bryant dropped in 37 points. LeBron James had a triple-double. Kevin Durant did what he does best: scored 30-plus points, yet allowed himself to be completely ignored in post-game reports. Carmelo Anthony sat on the bench and tried to pretend like he didn't know he'd be living in New York in a matter of days.
A bunch of other stuff happened at the NBA All-Star game, like a dozen or so missed layups and Rihanna treating and/or subjecting basketball fans to her robotic warbling at half-time, but most importantly, the two teams combined for 291 points with the West all-stars taking down the squad from the Eastern Conference by a tally of 148-143. Here's the really crazy thing about this game; they could have scored a hell of a lot more points if either team would have run up and down the court or shot competently from behind the arc. And if you've read this column before, you know that I love high-scoring sporting events more than I love excessive amounts of kittens.
Posted inOutside
Under the Light of the Moon: In search of dog, kid and party-friendly skiing near Bend
Night cross country skiing can be fun in Central Oregon.
Night Skiing
Not all of us have the luxury of flexible jobs that allow us to ditch the desk for an afternoon ski. But, because our sno-parks are so close to town, getting out on the trails at night has developed into quite the phenomenon in Central Oregon. On any given evening, you're likely to run into at least a few other skiers, if not a whole group, like the gang of WebSkis skaters that usually goes up on Tuesday nights.
Over the last few months, I've had the chance to get out there with a bunch of friends at night to bask in the light of the full moon or celebrate a few birthday parties. We've often ended up at the Nordeen Shelter, which is about two miles from Swampy Sno-Park. Thanks to volunteers, most shelters have a well-stocked supply of firewood that skiers are welcome to burn for warmth. If it's your first time organizing a group-hut excursion, try picking a destination that isn't too far out – in case you lose energy or have a few too many rounds by the fire. The Meissner Shelter is also a safe bet and offers views both to the north and south.
Posted inOutside
The lost world of Paulina Lake Lodge
Travel to the lost world of Paulina Lake Lodge, just 45 minutes from Bend and you will feel transported to a wintry haven, far from the traffic lights and noise that can at times feel claustrophobic to so many of us who made the move to Bend for a life of serenity.
I embarked on the journey out to Paulina Lake with two rafting buddies, Sandy Arch and Tom Clawson, whom I met on a trip on the Middle Fork of the Salmon. These guys are a work hard/play hard kind of couple that I knew would make this short little jaunt extreme in everyway.
Posted inOutside
Buy This Stuff! What football fans like to buy, according to the ads I saw during the Super Bowl
Here's what I learned about myself – as a football fan – by the products that were sold to me on Sunday.
So, yeah. My prediction that the Steelers would win the Super Bowl by way of a vast, mind-boggling conspiracy didn't exactly pan out. Whatever, who cares? I'm onto more important things now – like going out and purchasing all the items the Super Bowl advertisements told me I, as a football fan, should want. People, if you don't support the companies that pay in unicorn blood (the most valuable of all blood) for a 30-second spot during the Super Bowl, there won't be a Super Bowl next year. Seriously.
So, here's what I learned about myself – as a football fan – by the products that were sold to me on Sunday.
Posted inOutside
A Super Bowl Conspiracy Theory: Pittsburgh Steelers? More like Stealers of Super Bowls
Friends, why don't I let you in on a little secret, all right? The Pittsburgh Steelers will win the Super Bowl on Sunday.
Come join me over at my chalkboard, would you? Let me spike my hair up and gain 125 pounds and somehow get a nightly FOX News program on which I'm liable to cry at any moment. OK. Good. I am now in full conspiracy theorist mode.
Friends, why don't I let you in on a little secret, all right? The Pittsburgh Steelers will win the Super Bowl on Sunday. They might not win big or even have more points on the board when the clock runs out, but the Steelers will be named champions of the Super Bowl. Why? Um, I think it's pretty obvious. There exists a vast conspiracy to ensure that the Steelers win Super Bowls. Everybody is in on it, especially the referees. This thing goes all the way to the top baby, and you've got blinders on if you can't see it.
Posted inOutside
Take a Knee: Learn to telemark ski at Mt. Bachelor
I've been skiing since I was two. I had those little Traks you could attach to your snow boots with floppy straps, so it was a combination of Nordic and Alpine at the same time. My parents had the brilliant idea to just let me go at the top of our “wicked” steep driveway in New Hampshire and see how I fared on the way down. They were proponents of the “learn by doing” philosophy. We lived in North Conway, N.H., and with at least five ski areas in a 30-mile radius, this was serious business, even for toddlers.
Posted inOutside
There's Football This Weekend! But it's the Pro Bowl… Yeah, bummer
Does anyone care about the Pro Bowl? Nope.
The NFL Playoffs (can anyone still say “playoffs” without employing Jim Mora's wild-ass inflection? I can't) have produced the two teams that will play in the Super Bowl down in Dallas. Remember back in the day when we'd power through the conference championships and the following weekend head full-steam into the Super Bowl?
Posted inOutside
The Glory of Newberry: A new look at the biggest volcano in Oregon
No matter how many times you visit the Newberry National Monument, south of Bend, you’ll see something new every time, and probably something you wonder about, muttering to yourself, as I do so often, Now, how did that happen?
No matter how many times you visit the Newberry National Monument, south of Bend, you’ll see something new every time, and probably something you wonder about, muttering to yourself, as I do so often, “Now, how did that happen?”
I’ve been cross country skiing, hiking, logging – and now that I’m older – driving through, around and to the top of Newberry for more than 50 years, and it’s the same each trip: “Now how did that happen, and how did I miss it before?”