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Game Time, Fat Time: Why we eat what we eat when we watch sporting events

Big football games mean big calories.

On Christmas Eve, I – and my parents, siblings and our spouses – attended a football game in Seattle. The Seahawks were playing the 49ers in what was supposed to be a playoff-deciding matchup, so the family donned matching blue-and-green Santa hats (the too-cool-for-school 16-year-old hipster who lives inside of me cringed just a little bit), piled into the old man's SUV and arrived at a parking lot near the stadium precisely three hours prior to kick off.
In the time that preceded kickoff, I ingested the following: three bowls of chili, four pieces of cornbread, half a bag of Ruffles, five 16 oz. cans of Olympia beer and a bevy of other salty items. I didn't need any of this, which I realized about a third of the way up our Everest-like ascension to our surprisingly excellent seats. But, I had to eat and drink all that. We were at a big football game and I've long held dear to my heart the notion that all special sporting events are license to eat like a fat guy who really likes being fat and eating foods that will ensure he remains so.

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Return of the Snowy Owls: How to spot our winter visitors

The snowy owl returns for winter.

Reports of snowy owl (SNOL) sightings have been coming in by the hundreds from all over the Northwest, Midwest and East Coast. My pal from the old OMSI days, Bart Butterfield, who is now in charge of the GSI Division of Idaho Fish and Game, sent me an email the other day with an attached map of all the SNOL sightings in the U.S. and Canada.
But the first report I received came from Sisters photographer and Kestrel volunteer, Dick Tipton, last week. He found that beautiful female at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge feasting on rodents.
Snowy owls are the largest of our owls, both in weight and size. The great gray owl of our boreal forests is big, but it weighs only a fraction of our local great horned owl, and compared to the SNOL, they’re both lightweights.

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Running into a New Year: Central Oregon offers a wealth of options for area runners

Many exercise options for Central Oregon runners.

The first mile and a half is the toughest. In those six, eight or 12 minutes, your hands seem to get progressively colder and wind whips at every bit of exposed skin turning it red like the coals glowing in the woodstove that you foolishly left behind at home.
If you're lucky, the sun is out and you can think about how great it is to live in Central Oregon in January because unlike those poor schleps in Salt Lake City, Missoula or Bellingham, you can at least occasionally get some Vitamin D while you freeze. More than likely, though, it's sleeting sideways and the dark is either being slow to retreat or closing in fast, and you're thinking you should remember to buy batteries for your headlamp before this weekend's 10-miler.
At 2,000 steps, your blood finally reaches your toes, and your feet go from cherry popsicles to something bordering on comfortable. You pick up your head, squint your eyes against the grit the weather gods are throwing your way and grin. In arctic temperatures and ugly weather, you're taking control. You're getting stronger, healthier, happier. Big Bob selling treadmills on late night infomercials on channel 352 can kiss your ass. You're filled with joy, and all you have to do for the next forty minutes is keep putting one foot in front of the other.

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2011 Was Crazy: The year's 10 most ridiculous moments in sports, in no particular order

2011’s top 10 events in sports.

The coach is named Shaka Smart?
When the first NCAA tournament brackets to ever feature 68 teams rolled out of office-owned printers across the country, no one looked at Virginia Commonwealth University's slot in a play-in game and thought, “Oh, they'll totally make it to the Final Four.” But somehow, this little-known team made it all the way there… and made it one of the most memorable college basketball seasons in recent memory.
Joe Pa… yeah you're old as hell, but come on!
Nothing was more ridiculous or disgusting as the details that continue to come out of State College, Penn., which was once known as home to Penn State, but will forever be associated with one of the most shocking moments in sports history.

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In Search of a Silver Lining: You don't need snow to celebrate the solstice

Getting the most out of your winter solstice.

Happy winter solstice, girls and boys. Time to decide how (and when) to celebrate the longest night of the year. Back in 46 BC, Julius Caesar arbitrarily picked December 25 as the Roman winter solstice. These days we know the beginning of longer days arrives Dec. 21 or 22. Although if you listen to country music, you know the longest night can occur any time of year, but namely when a deep voiced, tight-jean-wearing cowboy gets jilted by a lover.
While its original importance rested in a community's ability to survive the winter, these days I see solstice as a reason to celebrate the arrival of winter. While times have changed, some traditions endure. Once upon a time, cattle were slaughtered as beer and wine were fermented and made ready to be consumed. And with the recent onslaught of breweries and butcher shops in town, Bend has aligned itself nicely with the, “last feast celebration” theme.

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Why We Bowl: Because the holidays would be maddening without football

Likely talking points for your upcoming family gatherings.

Between last Saturday and January 9, there will be 35 college football contests, meaning that some 58 percent of all Division I FBS schools will engage in these holiday-season rituals. For some of the players, it's a dream come true. For others, this means that an otherwise perfect Christmas vacation has been ruined. But for fans, these season-ending contests are a necessity.
My research has left me without a solid explanation as to the etymology of the word “bowl” as it pertains to things other than the eating of soup, the rationing of marijuana and the rolling of heavy things by drunken Midwesterners. This will have to remain a mystery for the moment, but calling these games “bowls” is helpful for the weary holiday travelers who find themselves cordoned off for a week in a Christmas-tree-lit living room with people they see once a year, but are told are family. It's a “bowl” game. You have to watch it.

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Less Crowds, More Routes: Smith Rock shines in winter's solitude

Puffy coats and wool beanies at belay stations. Handwarmers tucked into chalkbags. Thin socks in shoes a half size larger than normal. Sun on south facing rock. Thermoses filled with hot tea. Classic lines with no crowds, and temperatures perfect for sending. Welcome to central Oregon winter rock climbing.
While many locals have been busy deriding the weather for a lack of snow, a few have taken to celebrating the recent high pressure for its resulting extension of the fall climbing season at Smith Rock and local bouldering areas.
Climbers prepared to suffer the relatively small and short-lived discomforts of frosty mornings and early darkness are reaping huge rewards in the form of 50 degree air temperatures, sun-warmed rocks, a noticeable lack of greasy hold and walk-on access to routes that in the summer have parties stacked up for hours waiting a turn.
“Most folks think summer is climbing season at Smith Rock, but that is definitely not the case,” said Chris Wright, a certified American Mountain Guide Association Rock and Alpine guide for Timberline Mountain Guides. “If the sun is shining it's almost never too cold to climb.”

Posted inOutside

Conservation Education in Overdrive: More on my time with the Wolftree educational project

Wolftree offers students chance for outdoor education.

Back in 1949, Oxford University Press published a remarkable book that changed the way conservation education is being taught, and in doing so, left behind a solid base for everyone wanting to see the conservation of our natural resources. That book, A Sand County Almanac, was written by Aldo Leopold, a man who many consider to be the father of wildlife management and conservation education.
Leopold’s legacy is found in his statement regarding habitat management, based on ecological interactions and education: “This science of relationships is called ecology, but what we call it matters nothing. The question is, does the educated citizen know he is only a cog in the ecological mechanism? That if he will work with that mechanism his mental health and his material wealth can expand indefinitely? But that if he refuses to work with it, it will ultimately grind him to dust? If education does not teach us these things, then what is education for?”

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TV Abs: People are still doing workout videos and I am proof of that

Exercise videos encourage depressing optimism.

I just finished working out. It is three minutes past midnight and I'm in my basement.
I've been trying desperately to write something about how comic book-loving Robert Griffin III's Heisman win over the smiley face of Andrew Luck has a lot to do with the Occupy movement and the first three films of the Twilight
franchise, but have since realized that this is a horrible idea for a column. So I decided to get some exercise and planned on doing so without leaving my basement office.
While I'm reticent to discuss it at length with people who aren't already aware of my obsessive nature, I have been engaged for the past several months in a tumultuously unpredictable relationship with a certain exercise video series. The phrase “exercise video” might conjure images of Richard Simmons' (who I mistakenly have called Russell Simmons on no less than 50 occasions, an error with which the real Russell Simmons would hardly be pleased) piercing voice instructing you to perspire to the sounds of Buddy Holly, but the regimen that came into my life is nothing like that. In fact, it's not so much a work out video as it is a test of the human condition and/or vomit reflex and a routine that landed me in urgent care with unrelenting back pain. Yet, I continue to do it.

Posted inOutside

A Gran Affair: Cyclocross preview, broken bindings and a backcountry checklist

Gearing up for cyclocross

Doug LaPlaca and his cohorts at Visit Bend have done an excellent job establishing Bend as a premier cyclocross destination. Events ranging from the local to national level have invaded our town giving riders yet another reason to keep their bikes tuned all year long.
With the lack of snow keeping skis in garages, now's the perfect time to check out a couple of cyclocross events.
First up is a fundraiser for junior cyclocross racers hoping to compete at the U.S. Cyclocross National Championships in Madison, WI this coming January. Former pro cyclist and coach Bart Bowen of Powered by Bowen, is hosting a “CXmas Party” Thursday, December 8 at 6:30 p.m. at Powered by Bowen on Century Drive.
Local retailers and cycling teams have provided CXmas gifts for cyclists that will be on display. All proceeds from their sale and the $5 suggested minimum donation will go to the CX Junior Fund.

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