Outside

The sands of time play before my eyes as I type. I see an hourglass, half-full, half-empty, depending on how you look at it. Today is my dog's birthday, and mine too. She's nine years old; I'm 48. Sometimes, getting older can be a good thing- like when you enter a new age group for PPP. But, the grey sprinkling Sprocket's muzzle and the bag of blue ice resting on my shoulder make me only too aware that we are past the out-and-back turnaround and headed toward the finish line.
A friend posted this familiar quote on his Facebook wall the other day: “Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO what a ride!'”

The closing ceremonies of the Winter Olympics are almost here and most of Bend will probably go into TV withdrawal. I mean, how can you sit there and watch Desperate Housewives after the thrill of seeing Apolo Anton Ohno in action?
ICE CRIT
Seriously, is there anything more fun to watch than a criterium on razor blades? The next best thing, at least for those fans missing the winter sports action, may be the 2010 Ice Crit on March 6th at Wanoga Sno-park. Registration happens at the event at 6:30 p.m. and the race starts at 7 p.m. Any kind of bike is OK and costumes are encouraged. If I recall correctly, there was some bare skin at the last one. Race fee is $10 with profits going to COTA.

I should have really written this column last week to make it into the pre-Valentine's Day Source “Love Issue.” But sometimes you just come up a day late and a greeting card short. At any rate, I thought it might be amusing, if not timely, to comment on the outdoor dating scene in Bend.
The other day I skinned to the top of Tumalo with a girlfriend and discovered an impromptu party at the summit. There were shiny, happy people everywhere, munching on Clif Bars, peeling off skins, soaking in the view. My friend and I noted especially the good-looking guys clad in soft-shell and beaming endorphins who were quick to strike up friendly conversation. Advice about the best line in the bowl, homemade brownies and cell phone numbers were shared. OK, I made up that part about the phone numbers, but on the way back down, we declared the top of Tumalo on a sunny winter day the best pick-up spot in Bend. At least way better than the Astro Lounge. Apparently, though, Cog Wild is now hosting Mountain Biker Happy Hour at the Marz Bistro on Wednesday nights.

We have it pretty good here, but sometimes you just get a little jaded with yet another lap of Woody's or Zig Zag. So last week I decided to try something new – the 2010 Sierra Avalanche Ski-Orienteering Championships, a week full of Ski-O races in Tahoe. The field was stacked with several top Ski-O-ers competing for spots on the U.S. National Team for World Championships next year in Sweden.
Although I've done a little “Foot-O,” this was my first time doing it on skis. Ski-O totally breaks up the drudgery of just another ski race. Sixty seconds before your start, you receive a map plotted with about ten “control points” (orange and white one-foot cubes generally hanging from trees) to go find in order. Sounds easy… until you get to Intersection 15 at Tahoe Donner with nine trails radiating outward.

I sure wish that headline read, “Roaming the Isles” and this column was coming to you from a sea kayak in Fiji or a sailboat in the Bahamas. Instead, I just returned from the aisles of the Orange County Convention Center in Orlando, Florida where I make an annual pilgrimage to the Surf Expo Trade Show.
As far as trade shows go, fondling boards and hanging out with legends like Shaun Tomson at Surf Expo is probably a helluva a lot more fun than, say, schmoozing with a bunch of morticians at the Casket and Funeral Supply Association of America (CFSAA) Fall Conference & Trade Show held in November in Indianapolis. Or investigating the latest porta-potty technologies at the Portable Sanitation Association International (PSAI) Convention & Trade Show held every year in Daytona Beach. Maybe not quite as exciting though, as checking out Foxy Roxxxy, the world's first sex robot that was unveiled at the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas last month. The dark-haired, negligee-clad, life-size robot comes complete with flesh-like synthetic skin, artificial intelligence and can converse about football.

Are we cool or what? Last week, Facebook itself friended Central Oregon. On Thursday, Facebook officials were in Prineville to announce a new $188.2 million, 147,000-square-foot data center. (If you want to keep abreast of the project, you can become a fan of the Prineville Data Center on Facebook). The announcement, and some other recent goings-on, got me thinking about how we could be even cooler. Here are some of my ideas:
MT B: MOST UPHILL-FRIENDLY DOWNHILL AREA
On January 19, a revised uphill travel policy that includes a designated route to the summit, went into effect on Mt. Bachelor. According to the Mt. Bachelor website, “The uphill route to the Mt. Bachelor summit is open during sustainably safe conditions, i.e. when the Summit chairlift is open to the public, following avalanche reduction work and grooming operations.”
I asked some local backcountry afficionados what they thought of the revised policy. “My hope is it is just a first step,” said one. “For one, I'd like to see access to the summit expanded to include hours before opening and after closing of the lifts.”