Have You Grown Up Yet?

Who would you truly want to be when you grow up?

Maybe you’ve already grown up. Maybe not. We’ll begin by defining what we mean by this age-old concept.

First, as with most things, there’s not one understanding of this often-misunderstood word. There are generally as many understandings for grown up as there are readers. I have my ideas, you’ve got yours. Sometimes, we might even agree. This is the first and most important understanding of being grown up: We finally come to accept that there’s rarely only one answer to nearly all questions. And we don’t always have to be right.

Here’s a question: Is age related to growing up? Yes!

Many of us older folks share stories about how we’ve gotten wiser in our later years. Less judgmental. Slower to react. More able to apologize and forgive. Less self-centered, sometimes. It generally takes time to grow up. And… absolutely not!

Unfortunately, time guarantees nothing in the realm of growing up. It’s often assisted by time, but not always. There are very young, very mature folks out there, and some much older, immature ones. Life is infinitely complex.

Darn near all of us, even us elders, are not yet fully grown up. Some factors inhibiting total maturation include: unhealed wounds, karma, difficulty letting go of egos, fears of every kind… and our own limited ability to see ourselves clearly. One of my frequently repeated, favorite wisdoms is:

I don’t know who discovered water but I’m sure it wasn’t the fish.

It’s often difficult to see ourselves clearly without some help.

Hold on a sec! Something just happened I can’t ignore. Bear with me. Let me give you a bit of very recent history.

Wendy and I attended a matinee showing of “A Complete Unknown,” a movie about Bob Dylan’s early career. As I’m writing, I’m also playing some of his old songs I have loved since they came out in the ’60s. And this song just came on: “Forever Young.” Really?! Here are some lyrics:

May you grow up to be righteous

May you grow up to be true

May you always know the truth

And see the light surrounding you

May you always be courageous

Stand upright and be strong

May you stay forever young

May you have a strong foundation

When the winds of changes shift

May your heart always be joyful

May your song always be sung

And may you stay forever young

That is growing up! And now, “Blowin’ In The Wind” starts to play! You have got to be kidding me:

And how many years can some people exist before they’re allowed to be free?

Yes, and how many times can a man turn his head and pretend that he just doesn’t see?

Yes, and how many times must a man look up before he can see the sky?

And how many ears must one man have before he can hear people cry?

Yes, and how many deaths will it take ’til he knows that too many people have died?

The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind, the answer is blowin’ in the wind

The reason the answer is “Blowin’ In The Wind” is because you and I are in charge of our own growing up. And one of the essential ingredients to being grown up is being able to see our own pain so we can feel the pain of our brothers and sisters… and share it, vulnerably.

You and I are the wind. We are also ultimately the answer. We have two essential jobs: