Rather than wax eloquent on the benefits of going to social gatherings, being vulnerable and experiencing life outside of your comfort zone, I actually got off my couch and attended (or attempted to attend) four different group activities in Central Oregon. It sounds clichรฉ to say that these experiences changed my life, and yet they did… in ways big and small.
Just browsing through the Source calendar listings will give you more than enough options to consider for broadening your social connections. Add to that the many possibilities on Meetup.com, Facebook events and gatherings held by local businesses, and you have a plethora of activities to interest everyone from teen to octogenarian. So, then, the problem isn’t a lack of things to do, but perhaps it’s sometimes a motivation issue. An object in motion stays in motion, said the late Sir Isaac Newton. And, yes, an object chilling on the couch with Netflix tends to… well, they don’t call it “binge-watching” for nothing.
Art Night at Hanai, a beautiful event space off Eagle Road, was my first intentional venture out into the great world of community. It was hosted by a woman named Erika along with Around the Bend: Central Oregon Intentional Community. On one Tuesday evening a month you are invited to bring whatever art project you are currently working on, and to hang out with others while doing it. I sat at a table where two women were already painting, and over the course of the evening we engaged in a little bit of art making and a lot of talking. It was fascinating to me how easily conversation flowed between perfect strangers as we dipped paint brushes and sketched. More people joined our table as the evening progressed until we were a group of five, all seated at one of several round tables in the glass-walled room. As each newcomer approached the table, they seemed a little nervous and unsure. However, within minutes they would be chatting, laughing and visibly relaxing. Art was the stated reason for the gathering, but it seemed what we all truly craved was connection. I hit it off with many artists, those at my table and others as I ventured around the room. I will definitely be going to the next Hanai Art Night on Tuesday July 15 at 5pm.
Next up in my quest for comfort zone expansion was Scrabble Night, which is held every Wednesday at 6pm at Market of Choice in the upper level of the cafe. Tony, leader of the Bend Trivia and Word Game Group, listed the event on Meetup.com, and he was a gracious host, seemingly born for this kind of thing. The Scrabble players assembled that night numbered six, including me and my husband. Two games are played each evening with winners and losers changing tables in between the rounds, and these players are Good with a capital G. Many of those odd two and three letter words utilizing high-scoring tiles had been memorized by everyone, and I didn’t dare challenge any of their words because they knew their stuff. Despite their advanced wordsmithing prowess, everyone was kind and welcoming. We laughed, we cheered, we lamented having all vowels, or worse yet, all consonants… and we chatted about all the life things that come up over Scrabble: from highest score ever to annoying HOAs. It was a ton of fun even though I scored last in both rounds. (Wah, wah…) Playing games is a great way to slowly get to know others in a non-threatening, natural way. I will go hang with Tony and the Scrabble crew again after I have spent some time memorizing a bit more of the Seventh Edition of the Scrabble Dictionary.
For my third adventure I took part in a poetry workshop hosted by the Deschutes Public Library at the Sunriver Branch. Led by published poet Carol Barrett, the event was called Nature Poetry: Alive and Well in the High Desert. Carol led a warm and informative workshop on nature poetry and its forms and functions. We took turns reading aloud examples by poets including Mary Oliver, William Stafford and Matthew Friday, a published poet and one of the workshop participants, as well. At one point we were sent off for fifteen minutes to write a nature poem of our own. Mine was about spiders and my intense fear of them. I told of how I recently saved one of those athletic, speedy and jumpy ones by encircling her with a large plastic baggie and then setting her free outside. It was more poetic than I’m making it sound now… I think? We had the option to read our newly created poems aloud to each other at the end of the workshop and everyone was brave, sharing their work. The participants were supportive and kind, which made it easy to be open and vulnerable. More library events and writing workshops are in my future, for sure.
Finally, I registered on Meetup.com to attend a walking group that was to set out on a Wednesday morning at Shevlin Park. I was a bit late, so it seemed the group had left by the time I arrived at the picnic shelter. It was a glorious morning though, the sun still low and golden in the sky. I walked the river trail alone, basking in the non-silence. The aspen leaves rattling in gentle breeze, the river moving against rock, fallen trees, riverbed. A large approaching husky opened his mouth and said something like, “Rooooooh.” I asked his human if he was saying hello, and yes, the owner affirmed that his dog was greeting me. I stopped to scratch his furry neck, then walked along, greeting people warmly. Another dog wiggled up to me and kindly demanded a rub. A person passing by commented on the clear blue sky. I watched some birds with someone else on the path.
I never found the walking group I signed up for, but community sometimes happens on a trail on a weekday morning in early summer. The common denominator is getting out there. It’s not so hard, really. And the benefits are still making me smile.
This article appears in Source Weekly July 3, 2025.
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