If you’ve got this much blood on your clothes, laundry probably isn’t your biggest problem.This week, two longstanding, albeit utterly different, popular music acts will arrive in Central Oregon to either get your fist pumping or your cowboy boot covered toes tapping. There’s Brooks & Dunn, the popular country icons of the Coors Light genre, then there’s Alice Cooper the original androgynous vampire, who now at 60 years old, isn’t all that scary anymore. Here’s how they look head to head – so pick your act and stick beside ’em.
Alice Cooper: Known for his pre-goth heavy rock.
Brooks & Dunn: Known for their Wal-Mart Country at the Honky Tonk.
Alice Cooper: Hit songs include: “Schools Out,” “No More Mr. Nice Guy,” “I’m Eighteen.”
Brooks & Dunn: Hit songs include: “Boot Scootin’ Boogie,” “My Maria,” “Hard Workin’ Man.”
Alice Cooper: As one of rock and roll’s most rampant alcoholics, he was rumored to have sucked down more than a case of beer and a bottle of whiskey per day.
Brooks & Dunn: This is typical consumption for a pair of fans at a Brooks & Dunn concert before noon. Git er done!
Brooks & Dunn: Putting to work the standard process of using one’s first pet’s name and first street name to arrive at a porn star alias, Brooks & Dunn would be known as Taco Horton and Hooter Main, respectively.
Alice Cooper: Very well may have stumbled into a porn flick or two during his 1970s alcoholic heyday.
Alice Cooper: Along with Iggy Pop, attended Brian Wilson’s birthday party, but the two left when the drug-addled Beach Boy freaked them out.
Brooks & Dunn: Ronnie Dunn attended Miley Cyrus’ (Disney’s Hannah Montana) birthday party, and stayed.
Alice Cooper: Is the father of the “shock rock” genre.
Brooks & Dunn: Their tune “Boot Scootin’ Boogie” unleashed a rather shocking wave of early 1990s line dancing hysteria and a boost in the bolo tie market.
Alice Cooper: Cooper owns the Phoenix-based restaurant named Cooperstown Sports Bar and Grill. The eatery’s motto is: Where jocks and rock meet.
Brooks & Dunn: Unofficial motto of their live show: Where overpriced cowboy hats and halter-tops meet.
Brooks & Dunn: Are the highest selling duo of all time behind Simon and Garfunkel.
Alice Cooper: Is the highest selling artist who is both a born-again Christian and perceived Satanist. It’s not clear if Cooper was “born again” following one of his many faked onstage executions.
Alice Cooper: Passed on his shock rock legacy to Marilyn Manson and other goth rockers. He did not, however, pass on his tips for flawless eyeliner application.
Brooks & Dunn: Actress in their video for “Rock My World (Little Country Girl)” was found passed out behind the wheel of her car in the parking lot of a pizza joint with a blood alcohol level of .55. This is what happens when you wear your Calvin Klein snakeskin boots and rock out too much to Merle, kids.
Brooks & Dunn
6:30pm Wednesday, August 6. Les Schwab Amphitheater, 344 SW Shevlin Hixon Dr. $49.
Alice Cooper
7pm Thursday, July 31. Deschutes County Fairgrounds. 3800 SW Airport Way, Redmond. Admission is free with a ticket. CooListen to 98.3FM “The Twins” for tickets.
This article appears in Jul 31 – Aug 6, 2008.
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Alice Cooper is better than ever!! He’s 60 but is in GREAT shape! I haven’t seen any 60 year old with long,black hair and as great in shape! His new album ROCKS and looks like he’s gonna be in the music business for a while!
You can’t even compare Alice to really anyone…let alone some boring country duo. His new album is amazing and (not just Brooks and Dunn) all country music is incredibly lame.
Brooks & Dunn are awesome in concert. And please with 20 plus number one country songs they have more then just the three you have named Including Play Something Country Red Dirt Road I could go on. I have attended close to 80 B&D concerts over the years and they put on a hell of a show, Love these guys
I’m with Abbott on this one. Like…100%. I mean, it’s Alice Cooper! He’s been around for 44 years! That’s just incredible, and he’s still making GREAT albums after all these years.
Brooks & Dunn – boring, boring, boring old farts.
Alice is GREAT!!!
Not seeing Brooks & Dunn i cannot comment on them and compare to Alice Cooper… but 40 years has Alice under his belt, a family man with kids and plays golf, he no longer drink alcohol and annually brings in money for charity and not forgetting does hell of a lot of charity work he is committed to helping the youngsters of today… the person writing his / her report above obviously does not know Alice Cooper. and obviously does not understand his shows…. Alice is the King of shock rock… and unlike many of the other musicians he has not once yet been in prison… he sorted out his life and is a example to us all of what can be achieved.. and he has a handicap of 5 in golf..
he is definately one to watch and you will never forget his show, his presence, his songs, the atmosphere
Rock on Alice
for all you people talking shit about brooks n dunn piss off apparently you do not know great country music when u hear or should i say have ever listened 2 it. and by the way yes alice cooper does rock maybe u should broaden you horizens and listen 2 every kind of music!
you may be right but consi9der this person does listen to opera, ballet, rock, pop, jazz, country i enjoy the lot.. if you know any thing about alice he also does country , rap, ballads, and many more.
seek before you speak